Or how about this one (this stuff is really true). Nixon standing on the edge of the South Rim of the Grand Canyon at Echo Point peering out at the canyon: "I am the President." Echo: "I am the President." Nixon: "I am the President of the United States." Echo: "I am the President of the United States." Nixon: "I am the greatest President who ever lived." Silence. Nixon: "Well." Echo: "I'm an echo, not an idiot."

 

did you got to the Parthenon when you were in greece?....."I dont remember the names of all the nightclubs we went to".........the genius himself....Shaq

 

"He's no rocket surgeon"

Baseball player Larry Walker commenting on someone else's IQ......

 

"This one time, at band camp"(American Pie)

 

if your parents didn't have any kids, chances are - you won't either.

 

Oiler coach bum Phillips on why he takes his wife on all road trips: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye."

Chicago Cubs outfielder on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

On hearing Joe jacobi of the redskins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win it, I'd run over Joe's mom, too."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color ohoto of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

 

Saints running back George Rogers on the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Senior basketball player at U of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic GM, on his 7-27 record: " We can't win at home. We can't win on the rosd. As GM, I just can't figure out where else to play."

 

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. -George Bernard Shaw

Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly. -Batman costume warning label

You can't just let nature run wild. -Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska

Do it for the biscuit! -Hardee's commercial prompting a fat kid to run around the track

I don't take drugs, I am drugs -Salvador Dali

Who you callin' oopid-stay? -Banzai, Hyena from The Lion King

640 K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981

Never tell me the odds. -Han Solo

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. -Dr. Who

Celibacy is not hereditary. -Law of Socio-Genetics

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -Einstein

(yeah ok, so i like quotes!)

 

Raptor, you twit! the magician

 

Twit?