I've been there. I always felt like my mother was using my sister and I to try and get more money out of my Dad in child support. Money she hardly ever spent on us. I finally got tired of her crap so I had my Dad go back to court when I was 15 to get custody changed over to my Dad. That was difficult, but it was the best thing for me. I don't understand why parents think bad-mouthing the other parent is going to anything positive for their children. All it did was piss me off.

Legally your mother may not be able to keep you from going to your Dad's. She can't just decide that she wants more money out of your Dad so she's just going to ignore the custody agreement and not let you see him until he pays up. I don't know what the custody agreement was, but I doubt it lets her dictate when you see your Dad.

It's obvious that your mother is bitter about the divorce like my mom was. Her and her family need to stop putting you in the middle and talking bad about your Dad unless they want to push you away. Just because they don't like him and talk bad about him most likely isn't going to make you change your opinon of him, but it can sure make your opinion of them go down. At least it did to me.

Hang in there and try to find someone that you can talk to. It will help. Do you have a good friend that you can trust? Also, keep working hard in school and try not to let this crap affect your grades. My sophomore year in HS, the year I went through the custody change, was by far my worst. I didn't have problems getting into the colleges I wanted because I did well the other years and had really good test scores. Trust me though, that it will be a lot better for your if you DON'T have a bad year. Good luck.

 

Get a gun, tie them both up and sort things out.

 

You think your situation is bad, mine is worse.

My parents have been divorced for over ten years (I'm 18). They both don't live with me but are in the same state. My dad is quick to anger, and my mom is too. My dad has to pay child support and he tried to 'use' me to try and give my mom a letter to sign to stop payments.

Honestly I didn't care much for either because I realize I'm independent and I don't need them to be successful in life. Don't get me wrong, I'm on good terms now with both of them, but when I was younger it was horrible.

Just remember to focus on your own things and be independent. Do good in school and forget about the rest. Build many friendships regardless of age, it seriously helps you later in life. You have yourself to worry about, not others. While family is very important, it is not essential like most people think.

Also, be glad you beat out all the other sperm that tried to take your egg!

 

^ lmao

 

I would tell your Mom or Dad, whenever they start badmouthing the other, in a calm voice, that you will not listen to them when they badmouth the other. And tell them that you won't listen to the other parent badmouth them. Then walk away. After a few times, they will get the picture (maybe). Be calm and mature. Sounds like you are already more mature than they are in many ways.
Is there a teacher at school, or coach, you could talk to? School counselor? Good luck.

 

Join the Army. Let them take care of you.

 

I feel for ya buddy...

1. Find friends that:
- Have a positive outlook towards their future (not a drop-out wannabe)
- Are relatively good in school (gets decent grades)

Please note, sometimes the "nerdy" kids are also the nice, loyal kids that are actually half decent at life outside of school. Don't overlook the outcasted individuals, chances are, 5-years from now they wont be so nerdy anymore.

Hang with these friends constantly. It'll be good for you to be in a "stable" home. Make as many friends as possible... friends will consume more time of your life, which means less time for family .

2. Do well in school:
- Your better grades will actually put less stress on your parents, possibly making them more "civilized".
- More time you spend doing hw is less time with parents
- Do hw with your friends... at thier house (this is a good excuse if parents don't want you to leave the house, "but Mom/Dad, I need *insert friends name here* to help me with my homework. You do want me to get better grades right?"
- The better you do in school, the faster you will become indepedent a few years down the road

3. Vocalize in a mature manner
- Write down how you feel on paper, make sense of it, then sit down and verbalize it... it's important that you don't blurt things out as anger or frustration might cause you to not use the best words to describe your feelings.
- Try not to accuse anyone (i.e. pointing the finger). Express how you feel when a person does something AND WHY. Just don't accuse anyone in a threatening manner as this causes emotions to skyrocket. If someone constantly interrupts or doesn't listen, tell them you do not appreciate them not paying attention.

Hold your head up high, don't get sucked into their fights... walk away. Spend time with positive people who can help you better yourself. Focus on what's important, school. Finally, don't internalize anything, but rather, be open in a mature manner.

Hope this helps ,
Chris

P.S. Ask a generous s2ki member for a ride to help "feel better"

 

PM sent.

 

Family is overrated. FWIW your family is no more messed up than anyone elses. Not sure that it helps to know that but maybe it's comfort to know that your situation is pretty normal. The main thing you should do is make sure you look after yourself so you can leave that craphole behind and start your own someday.

Get your grades up or they will haunt you forever. Whatever it takes, make sure you get the As your parents and everyone else are paying for. Teachers work for you. If you aren't getting good grades you are either wasting their time or yours. Make sure they teach you everything you need to know and if they aren't go back to them and insist they do.

 

Friends are the new family.