R-T-R

KY-she have a vbtor? Extra shrimp and smoke smell she definately had company. Does't meen she got busy... buuttt.. you do the math. I be on her real close. I'd also simply walk into her work, and up to her boss and see how uncomfortable i'd make him. Just look him in the eye with out a" hello" and something should tip you off. (ps. no gun, if facts come out,be like ice)

Psicho54

Sounds like something is extremely awry. Your evidence must mean SOMETHING odd ... just the fact that you are observing certain things that are "out of place" means more than likely your woman has been up to something. If this is the case I would highly recommend you get out of that relationship ASAP.

However, we don't want to jump to conclusions without the concrete evidence being connected to her wrongdoing. If I were in your shoes, I would find a way to PROVE whether she is cheating or not. You seem like you're a good sleuth, so I'm sure you can figure something out whether it's video cams or staking out at some home. Good luck to you and if you do find something connecting her to cheating, get the hell out of that relationship. This is a big world and you can manage to find someone new and better who will not betray you.

XTC at 9K

Just a suggestion...If in fact she is cheating and you have some sort of photographic proof. Threaten/Blackmail her boss! Again, this is just a suggestion !
I believe someone has to suffer and this time it shouldn't be the Victim!

reecespieces

It seems like you two need to sit down and talk anyway...if things have changed for the worse in your relationship. Why don't you ask her how she feels and share how you feel about the relationship (without bringing up the infidelity issue), maybe that will bring out a response that you're looking for. One thing for sure though, you'll probably have a chance at saving the relationship, if she doesn't respond to your efforts, then it's probably time to move on.

AusS2000

Thanks Reeces, you've allayed my fears that not everyone across the lake is gun toting lawyer weilding PI employing madman.

The problem here is not whether or not she is cheating, but why she might be motivated to cheat. The solution to these problems is not to 'win', but to communicate. And the one that can stay calms is the one who will come out better.

Remember, there are plenty of other garages to park your car .

SteveUCI

That's very wise Henry, that sounds like the best thing to do, short of blackmailing the boss.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by reecespieces
[B]

It seems like you two need to sit down and talk anyway...if things have changed for the worse in your relationship.

Schatten

hmm, difficult situation indeed.

might I suggest a voice activated recorder planted somewhere. in a couch, somewhere a phone or in-person conversation can be recorded.

also, in regards to the fighting - I hate to go with the flow of where the KY is going, but... I've never cheated on someone, but if i were to, I'd probably argue to avoid topics or to avoid any type of intimacy between myself and my mate - anything to gain distance so that I can have my 'better times' elsewhere. Its just a possibility.

other alternatives - "well, Jerry, I wanna know if she's cheating on me." or just flat out ask her yourself. But whether she says yes or no, whether the answer is the truth or a lie, it won't matter - the trust will not be there for you or for her after it is brought up. I think that's why you need the hard proof without confrontation right now.

djohnston

Well blackmailing the boss, though an attractive sounding idea, really isn't what I'd do, crazy as it sounds I like the guy, even if he is perhaps banging my woman like a screen door (ouch did I really just say that?).

No, I place the blame squarely on her. If I had an attractive new assistant like her at my job, and I was a Polish guy who only visited my wife and kids in Poland twice a year, I'd certainly respond to any come-on's from her, even if I had met her boyfriend (me).

And all that psycho-babble about what motivates someone to cheat might sound good in a therapist's office, but bottom line is she's a very sexually "needy" woman, and she and I haven't been friendly recently, and she's probably very flattered that her boss is paying her some attention because she feels I haven't been. That and the fact that she counts on my not being around on Wednesday nights because of my musical activities, and she probably thinks she can carry on with Andrew as long as she wants.

Well I'm still working on what to do, one possibility is a voice-activated cassete recorder planted under the bed, but my favorite idea is to sneak back here on some Wednesday night when I'm supposed to be at my rehearsal, and do a little spying.

CRitchie

Just become unpredictable.

Let her think you have something to do then show up at her place about two hours later saying you finished up early or your friend couldn't make it and you decided to surprise her.

Like someone said earlier though, be prepared for the worse.

mingster

make sure you don't use your car, take a nice camera with some good lense, or try and plant some kind of spying camera in her place