Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for diner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.

 

Sounds like the perfect husband! Mine's still in training. This little print-out will sure come in handy.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Pueo:
[B]Sounds like the perfect husband!

 

Damn, I had a good one, just couldn't bring myself to post it. I'd get flammed.

 

Come on dude...It's all in good spirit...Alright spit it out...

 

Dangerous: Honey there's still some food in the pantry!

Safer: Honey, I thought you ate it all!

Safest: Honey, here's the baseball bat!