Ok... lol... Here's the situation:

Myself and my ex started dating in May of 2006 and we I ended up breaking up with her in January... twice... ouch. I know that's bad but for some reason, something didn't seem right and I just needed to pull myself out of the situation. Well anyway... since then, as weird as it sounds, my feelings for her have only grown stronger and I really want to try to get her back. I was wondering, if you were the ex and I was going to do something to win you back, what would you like to see the guy do?

Any suggestions or comments will be acknowledged, even if it's you telling me to not even bother trying.

Thanks in advance.

 

im not a girl, but I would advise against this course of action. If you have to "win" a girl back, you are already screwed. Chances are, she has already been porked by one or many other guys since you dumped her...sorry, but true. Who knows, I could be wrong...

 

I'm no lady, but it's been my experience that you should rely on your initial instinct for this one. Maybe you miss parts of her and those parts make you forget about the little things. But, once you're in a relationship it's the little things that kill. I went back and forth with my ex about 4 times before finally getting a brain.

However, if that doesn't deter you, then here is my take. Give her a call sometime just to see how she's doing. Make it all about her. Don't even mention getting back together or how you miss her, cause women eat that stuff up....in a bad way. Don't start calling her every day, but just here and there. Then, mention a place you're going and see if she wants to meet you there. It would be best to go with a couple people so she feels comfortable. Then, when the time is right, talk to her away from everybody else. Once again, make it about her.

After that you can make a stronger move like taking her out for dinner, and then the Motel 6....or your place, as long as you don't live with your mom.

The whole thing is pretty simple. Most women love it when their ex gives them one of those "I want you back" calls. For them it's a combo of being right, and revenge. They'll brag about it to their girlfriends and call you an effing loser. So, whatever you do, don't do that!

 

You already broke up with her... twice. I'd say move on, but it can't hurt to call her and see if she wants to get lunch some time, and see where the conversation goes.

 

You're right on that about how the good parts make the little things go away... lol. All my friends are like... dude... just think about the stuff that annoyed you and it will help you get over her, but it just doesn't happen... lol. I try and it lasts about 2 sec before I start thinking the good sh*t again... lol.

Yeah... the "I want you back" already happened. I know it was dumb, but I got hit so hard that one night and I fell into it... bad bad... I know. And of course, she said no and kept throwing it in my face that I broke up with her twice and she wanted to stay single and yada yada. But now, 4 or 5 weeks later, on sunday, I caught her driving by my house and there's nothing on my end that she goes to, and if she did, there's another "main" road that she could take... so I just thought she was checking up on me.

But I was thinking as well that the casual hanging out is the only way but probably more than likely, it's going to end up as just a friends thing and that will eat me alive.

Andre

 

Maybe win wasn't a good choice of word... get her back... be with her again. Not sure how else to put it.

Andre

 

Why go to all that trouble? Why not just ask her if she wants to give it another go? If she says no, then she probably doesnt want you anymore and you are wasting your time. If she is enthusiastic about it and wants it bad, then maybe go for it. My take is....if you found reasons to dump her twice, a third time wont be that hard.

 

I pretty much did that already but I think she was still in her "I hate him" mode even though she said she didn't hate me... I don't know.

I know what you're saying about how if I dumped her twice, then a third time will be easy, but that second time I think came too quick. We should have let things cool off longer (we got back after a week). I don't know... I guess it's the thought that things could be worked out you know.

And none of this is cause I can't find anyone else cause I am talking to this one girl but she just isn't cutting it... at least not yet. I just got along with my ex so much better.

 

You will find another girl, I used to talk to 3-4 different girls every time I would go do anything, groceries, movie stores, mall (married now). You never know when you will find a really cool chick, if you think shes cute, chat her up. You want your ex back because you are comfortable with her. If you did "win" her back, it would be nice for a month or two, but once the make-up sex ends, she will still be the same annoying khunt that you already kicked to the curb, twice.

 

even if you guys get back together and things seem to be working out okay, she'll still always resent you deep down inside for breaking up with her (twice). meet a new girl and start fresh with her.... learn from your mistakes and try to notice the good in a girl BEFORE you dump her, instead of after.

but if you really have your mind set on getting back together with this girl... just kiss her ass. we love it when you boys kiss our asses. send her flowers, cook her dinner, send her random little e-mails saying things like "i hope your day is as beautiful are you are...", blah blah. give her something to brag to her friends about. the hardest thing about accepting a guy who has snubbed me in the past is what people will think of me for taking him back. if you do super nice things for her, whenever someone is like "god, you took HIM back after what he did to you...." she'll be able to say "yea, but he's really trying.... he sent me flowers and took me out to dinner and bought me a tiffany's necklace and a ferrari, yada yada."

i suppose it sounds sort of shallow... but remember that YOU dumped her, and if you really want her back you're going to have to face the consequences of your actions. a little humiliation for her, and now there's going to be a little humiliation for you. if you're not willing to deal with that, than you obviously don't want her back that bad, move on.

of course, this is all contingent upon whether or not she's worth it.