I will start.....


Two goldish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ...

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

 

lol


that was one of them jokes that are stupid funny

 

Remind me never to get you to proof read one of my contracts

 

Oooooppppssss!!!

 

I thought that was funny! but that doesn't mean jack! *laughs*

 

Here's a really bad one just in time for Christmas.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their
little father and
son chats. Lightsabers drawn and sparks flying.

Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his
face, "I know what
you're getting for Christmas, Luke," he said, "Ohhh, yes! I
know!"

Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platfrom
just out of
Vader's reach, "How do you know!?" Luke yelled at him, "How
do you know
what I'm getting for Christmas!?"

Darth Vader shot Luke an icey glare, "I felt your
presents."

 

you are right CG, it was a really bad one

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. They pitch their tent in the middle of an open field and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes awakens and nudges Watson.

"Watson, wake up!"

"Look up at those stars and tell me what you can deduce."

"Well, Holmes, there are billions of stars. Any number of them could have planets orbiting them, just as our sun has. There could be millions of planets capable of supporting human life. If even a small percentage of them actually do have inhabitants, that would be tens or hundreds of thousands of planets with human life. Viewed in that way, we seem pretty insignificant. Why do you ask, Holmes? What can you deduce?"

"That somebody stole our tent."

 

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife. No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether
it's officially raining or snowing". As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course", Rudolph replied, and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which her husband replied:


"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear".

 

BIN LADEN HAS BEEN CAUGHT!
The US dropped a Viagra bomb into those caves where he was hiding and the PR I CK stood up!