my boyfriend just recently relocated to atlanta. we've been together for about 6 months and our relationship is getting to be pretty serious. he's a really great guy but the distance is killing us. i can't go see him cause i'm at school. and he can't visit me cause he works over the weekends from home. he and i are together until the new year but then what??? the distance is a drain on our relationship. though we spend a lot of time emailing and on the phone at night, it's not enough. i thought about breaking it off with him. but it's the holidays, i can't do that. but if i did, it's not like he only came here for me. his family lives here. what should i do?

 

Where are you at?

 

Denver, CO

 

I too had a long distance relationship back in 1993. Even though we were together for a year before she decided to go to school back home where she just moved from. We were determined to make it work and it did for 6 months until things started getting difficult for her. I couldn't come visit because of my job. I found out from one of her sisters that she was thinking of going back to her old boyfriend. I was hurt that she couldn't tell me that. So, I flew up to her state for the weekend to suprise her. And, boy did I surprise her all right. She was in bed screwing her old boyfriend. I left immediately back for the airport to come home. I never spoke to her again. I still have a good relationship as friends with her sisters. They really hate her for what she did to me. I know to this date, she's never been able to have a boyfriend for long and will probably never find what she was looking for in what she saw in me. I do wonder sometimes if I should have done things a bit differently. Regardless, I am glad things went the way they did since I found a new girlfriend 4 months later who eventually became my wife! So, I would say be careful and make sure your love for each other is truly stong or something could tear you apart. Good luck.

Whoever said "falling in love was easy but staying in love is harder" is right.

 

I'm making some huge assumptions here, but I think the fact that he moved to Atlanta without you indicates that he doesn't view the relationship as being as serious as you do. I've never been a fan of long distance relationships for the very thing that Zangerzone went through, and your boyfriend moving to Atlanta would lead me to believe your relationship probably isn't going to survive 1500 miles of seperation. Good luck, regardless.

 

just break it off before the holidays, that way you don't have to spend loot on gifts.

 

I've done the long distance thing a few times. The only way I've ever had it work was if things *weren't* all that serious, meaning that we were both free to see whoever we wanted when we were apart (though I'm not sure either of us, in any of the cases, really exercised that option all that much). It was kind of cool; when we saw each other, it was an absolutely fun filled weekend with no stress. I'm not saying it was easy, but I can't imagine it being as easy as it was for me if it was serious and committed.

Good luck, and I don't envy your decision!

 

It doesn't work. I tried it all the travelling just gets to annoying after awhile.

 

I have to agree with Billy. If he moved to Atlanta without you, then I really doubt his commitment to you. Considering you have dated only six months, this seems appropriate. Six months means your still in that "everything he/she does is fun/cute" phase. Maybe he progressed out of it before you. Moving to Atlanta seems like a pretty easy out for him.

On the other hand, did he invite you to eventually move out there with him? Does he talk about you two together? Have you talked with him about transferring out to a school in Atlanta? Does he consider this a short-term project or stepping stone with him eventually getting back to Denver?

My advice would be to break it off in a friendly way. Keep the option of a booty call available should he be in town or you in Atlanta.

 

Long distance relationships just don't work. I did a couple of NY --> MD relationships and a NY --> FLA. Don't work, nope, sorry. You should be glad though, you've only been in it 6months. Try going 3 years and then it being an LD!! Move on.