Perhaps the worst one yet!
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From: Brisbane
Perhaps the worst one yet!
There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for food or water in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. "My God, Pepe" says the first bloke. "It's a bacon tree !!! We're in hope!!!" "You're right" says Pepe, "Thank God !" So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. The first bloke quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. Pepe, Pepe - what the hell happened?" "Ugh... it wasn't a Bacon Tree .......................
....It was
................a
.....................a
......................Ham Bush..."
....It was
................a
.....................a
......................Ham Bush..."
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From: Brisbane
The story continues......
Amazingly, Pepe survives and the two manage to escape by the skins of their teeth. As they continue to stumble through the desert, Pepe hears music. As they get closer to the source of the music, Pepe looks up in the distance, strains his eyes and sees
Amazingly, Pepe survives and the two manage to escape by the skins of their teeth. As they continue to stumble through the desert, Pepe hears music. As they get closer to the source of the music, Pepe looks up in the distance, strains his eyes and sees
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From: Yorba Linda, CA
As long as you opened the door:
A monestary needs someone to ring the bell in the morning. A young man applies for the job. He is perfectly qualified except for one minor shortcoming: he has no arms.
"I don't mean to seem rude," says the Abbot, "but how can you ring the bell without any arms?"
"I'll show you," says the young man.
They climb the stairs to the top of the bell tower. The young man stands in the corner, then makes a mad rush toward the bell, running into it headfirst!
"Doesn't that hurt?" asks the Abbot.
"Not too much."
The young man is hired. For several months he rings the bell every morning. Then one day, tragedy strikes. It had been raining the night before, and the floor of the bell tower is wet. As the young man rushes toward the bell he slips, falls down the staircase, and breaks his neck.
A short time later, the constable arrives. He asks the Abbot, "Who is this young man?"
The Abbot replies, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
A monestary needs someone to ring the bell in the morning. A young man applies for the job. He is perfectly qualified except for one minor shortcoming: he has no arms.
"I don't mean to seem rude," says the Abbot, "but how can you ring the bell without any arms?"
"I'll show you," says the young man.
They climb the stairs to the top of the bell tower. The young man stands in the corner, then makes a mad rush toward the bell, running into it headfirst!
"Doesn't that hurt?" asks the Abbot.
"Not too much."
The young man is hired. For several months he rings the bell every morning. Then one day, tragedy strikes. It had been raining the night before, and the floor of the bell tower is wet. As the young man rushes toward the bell he slips, falls down the staircase, and breaks his neck.
A short time later, the constable arrives. He asks the Abbot, "Who is this young man?"
The Abbot replies, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
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From: Yorba Linda, CA
One week later another young man arrives; he looks identical to the previous bell-ringer with one exception: he has both arms.
"My brother was your bell-ringer. He had agreed to ring the monestary bell, and because he has died I have come to take his place."
"At least this one has arms," thought the Abbot.
For several months this young man rings the monestary bell every morning. Then one day, another tragedy strikes. While ringing the morning bell the young man gets his foot tangled in the bell rope. He stumbles and falls out the window of the bell tower, and breaks his neck.
A short while later the constable arrives again. Again, he asks the Abbot, "Who is this young man?"
"I don't know his name," replies the Abbot, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
"My brother was your bell-ringer. He had agreed to ring the monestary bell, and because he has died I have come to take his place."
"At least this one has arms," thought the Abbot.
For several months this young man rings the monestary bell every morning. Then one day, another tragedy strikes. While ringing the morning bell the young man gets his foot tangled in the bell rope. He stumbles and falls out the window of the bell tower, and breaks his neck.
A short while later the constable arrives again. Again, he asks the Abbot, "Who is this young man?"
"I don't know his name," replies the Abbot, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
