So today Greg and I are sitting at lunch at a Chicago type of place called Zippy's (you know, the Italian beef, Cheezy Beef, Polish Sausage, Italian Saugage type of joint).

All of a sudden we break out into conversation about significant others. One of the topics covered was about answering the age old question that men get asked many times over in life: [ltred]"Honey, do I look fat.....?"[/ltred]

Well we pondered all the type of answers that we could think of. However, now we are looking to insight to how other S2Ki members would answer.

So let's have at it:

 

"Hmmmm, I don't know. Take all your close off and let me see."

I'm actually going to try this one on my fiance the next time she asks.

 

I don't know the answer to that question. I do know that I wouldn't start it off with "Do you want me to be honest?".

 

As I noted at lunch, my man, there's just no good answer to this question...and whatever answer you do come up with cannot be preceeded by any sort of hesitation whatsoever. When presented this horribly confounding question, you must proceed with answering forthwith, otherwise you will have answered without having said a word...and she will never let you forget it.

More importantly, however, is the reason WHY she is presenting you this question. If she is asking, she suspects she may have a little too much "junk in the trunk" and is looking to see how badly you feel about that sad fact. She already knows the answer, she just wants to see your reaction...

There is a slight variation of this same question...and that is, "Honey, does this dress make my butt look big?" This is a little easier to answer properly as you can blame it on the dress or whatever article of clothing. When presented this question, just make sure that you don't say, "No, honey, that dress doesn't make your ass look big...you ASS makes your ass look big!"

That would be bad news...

So, my suggestion is to have a prepared answer, always ready at all times. Just like the guards at Buckingham Palace are always on duty, you must be prepared to answer this question. You must also look her directly in her eyes when answering. And as I mentioned, make sure to do so without hesitation. Those two things alone will cook your goose if neglected...

Good luck to all who are asked this most difficult question. There are no easy answers, but whichever one you do pick, say it confidently!

 

tell her
"you look lovelier now than the day i first met you"
but i'm an honest person and i would be honest...i can't stand girly girls like that...don't ask the question if you don't want the answer...plenty of fish in the sea so i would just say yes or no...i don't like wiafs anyways...a girl need a little meat on her to begin with...i hate girls with the body of a 12 year old boy. gotta have boobs and ass that's what i always say. and in the immortal words of my father (mind he's 64 and as old school as one can imagine i'm only 24 and he told me this at like 19) "son, when girls start asking for too much...dump them...you'll find someone else who'll ask less of you"

god bless him


off on a slight tangent...when they complain you haven't noticed their 1/2lb weight loss you can just say
"i didn't notice you lost the weight cause you're always so thin"

 

The first time my bride asked me if she looked fat, I replied, "Honey, do I look stupid?"

 

"No. But it wouldn't matter if you did. I'd still be crazy about you." Works even better if it is totally true.

 

This is a no brainer!!! Jeeepers ppl...come on!!

If she looks fat, the answer is: "Yes. I'd do something about your weight problem or I may have to end this relationship."

If she doesn't look fat, the answer is: "No. What's for dinner?"

Chicks are testing you with that question. She obviously thinks she is a porker so there is no right answer save the truth! If you lie to her now, you begin to head down the slippery slope of deceipt. Soon, she'll be asking:

"Do you think she (the girl that just passed by) is pretty?"
"Do you like this dress?"
"Do you like your dinner I spent hours preparing?"
"Do you think we should have a child?"

I could go on...boiled down, and my personal mantra (one of them anyways) it's simple: If you don't like my answer, you shouldn't ask the question!!

Mark

 

I don't disagree with anything you said, Mark...

But "jeepers"?! Who uses that word?!? JEEPERS?!

 

Just say, "I'm kind of out of shape, so go to the gym with me."