question about Married Life
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From: MoCo
After living together for 10 years and married for I think 12 more I'd say that they are a few significant changes from being single and living apart.
1) You must become a responsible adult if you weren't before. No disappearing for days like I used to.
2) You need to take someone else's feelings, tastes and concerns into account before blowing big bucks on stuff, when making plans with friends, coming home from work hungry and having to wait for the spouse/significant other to come home before scarfing something down and a lot of other little decisions that affect both parties. You'll need to figure out which things are important for the other party to be involved in.
For instance I could care less what colors the walls are painted, what the furniture looks like or anything else involving decorating. Hell my wife paints rooms and I don't notice for months and in one case over a year. I buy the electronics and tools.
3) Money management and kids are probably the most contentious things in relationships that I've seen. Fortunately for me we have no kids and have enough money to do as we please. Most of my friends maintain separate accounts and maybe one shared one but those are also the ones I see have trouble. My wife and I have had joint accounts only since we moved in about six months after we met and it's worked out through bad times and good. I suck at saving $$ and she's good at it but we never fight over $$ like some of our friends.
4) Make sure you like to spend a lot of time together which some people don't find out until it's too late.
5) You are now a member of your spouse's family with all of the good and bad that may entail.
Wow, sorry that was really long winded.
After all of that, my wife and I talk about getting divorced so we could save on taxes but it's really not worth all of the hassles.
Mark
1) You must become a responsible adult if you weren't before. No disappearing for days like I used to.
2) You need to take someone else's feelings, tastes and concerns into account before blowing big bucks on stuff, when making plans with friends, coming home from work hungry and having to wait for the spouse/significant other to come home before scarfing something down and a lot of other little decisions that affect both parties. You'll need to figure out which things are important for the other party to be involved in.
For instance I could care less what colors the walls are painted, what the furniture looks like or anything else involving decorating. Hell my wife paints rooms and I don't notice for months and in one case over a year. I buy the electronics and tools.
3) Money management and kids are probably the most contentious things in relationships that I've seen. Fortunately for me we have no kids and have enough money to do as we please. Most of my friends maintain separate accounts and maybe one shared one but those are also the ones I see have trouble. My wife and I have had joint accounts only since we moved in about six months after we met and it's worked out through bad times and good. I suck at saving $$ and she's good at it but we never fight over $$ like some of our friends.
4) Make sure you like to spend a lot of time together which some people don't find out until it's too late.
5) You are now a member of your spouse's family with all of the good and bad that may entail.
Wow, sorry that was really long winded.
After all of that, my wife and I talk about getting divorced so we could save on taxes but it's really not worth all of the hassles.
Mark
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From: San Francisco
Originally Posted by problem_child,May 5 2005, 04:40 PM
ut oh...
did u write this to give ur BF some pressure?
did u write this to give ur BF some pressure?
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From: San Francisco
Originally Posted by shareall,May 5 2005, 07:09 PM
I'm not married, but I think that for some couples things change because people have expectations about what the relationship will be like after they're married. Some expectations people are aware of before they're married and some they're not.
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From: San Francisco
Originally Posted by boughtans2k,May 6 2005, 05:31 AM
After living together for 10 years and married for I think 12 more I'd say that they are a few significant changes from being single and living apart.
1) You must become a responsible adult if you weren't before. No disappearing for days like I used to.
2) You need to take someone else's feelings, tastes and concerns into account before blowing big bucks on stuff, when making plans with friends, coming home from work hungry and having to wait for the spouse/significant other to come home before scarfing something down and a lot of other little decisions that affect both parties. You'll need to figure out which things are important for the other party to be involved in.
For instance I could care less what colors the walls are painted, what the furniture looks like or anything else involving decorating. Hell my wife paints rooms and I don't notice for months and in one case over a year. I buy the electronics and tools.
3) Money management and kids are probably the most contentious things in relationships that I've seen. Fortunately for me we have no kids and have enough money to do as we please. Most of my friends maintain separate accounts and maybe one shared one but those are also the ones I see have trouble. My wife and I have had joint accounts only since we moved in about six months after we met and it's worked out through bad times and good. I suck at saving $$ and she's good at it but we never fight over $$ like some of our friends.
4) Make sure you like to spend a lot of time together which some people don't find out until it's too late.
5) You are now a member of your spouse's family with all of the good and bad that may entail.
Wow, sorry that was really long winded.
After all of that, my wife and I talk about getting divorced so we could save on taxes but it's really not worth all of the hassles.
Mark
1) You must become a responsible adult if you weren't before. No disappearing for days like I used to.
2) You need to take someone else's feelings, tastes and concerns into account before blowing big bucks on stuff, when making plans with friends, coming home from work hungry and having to wait for the spouse/significant other to come home before scarfing something down and a lot of other little decisions that affect both parties. You'll need to figure out which things are important for the other party to be involved in.
For instance I could care less what colors the walls are painted, what the furniture looks like or anything else involving decorating. Hell my wife paints rooms and I don't notice for months and in one case over a year. I buy the electronics and tools.
3) Money management and kids are probably the most contentious things in relationships that I've seen. Fortunately for me we have no kids and have enough money to do as we please. Most of my friends maintain separate accounts and maybe one shared one but those are also the ones I see have trouble. My wife and I have had joint accounts only since we moved in about six months after we met and it's worked out through bad times and good. I suck at saving $$ and she's good at it but we never fight over $$ like some of our friends.
4) Make sure you like to spend a lot of time together which some people don't find out until it's too late.
5) You are now a member of your spouse's family with all of the good and bad that may entail.
Wow, sorry that was really long winded.
After all of that, my wife and I talk about getting divorced so we could save on taxes but it's really not worth all of the hassles.
Mark