I came home from work last night and promptly locked myself out of the house. We keep a spare key under our redwood deck, but the deck was just refinished and the key disappeared. My cell phone was in my car, which was parked in my locked garage. None of my neighbors were home. Mrs. Raptor was at a late meeting. What to do?

I found the smallest window, a slider in the half bathroom off our service porch and broke it with a rock, reached in, and slid it open. I had to climb on a high rail and precariously perch myself to squeeze in sideways, cutting myself on glass in the process. Glass and blood everywhere. I also broke three of Mrs. Raptor's prized hand-painted planters on a ledge coming in.

I had to sweep up quickly and completely before the dogs started walking in it. Just as I finished plugging the broken window with cardboard and duct tape, Mrs. Raptor called: "High, I'm at Ralphs, my meeting was cancelled, need anything?"

Now she's pissed at me because she had to move around appointments and wait for a glass guy -- $170 down the old toilet.

 

Damn George.....first the scratches on the Stook then this. Who did you piss off?

 

Is there a dark cloud overhead????

 

Next time take a long walk till the wifey shows up. You can contemplate on how your situation occurred, make plans to avoid it the next time, get some exercise, skip breaking windows, and if there's a bar nearby, maybe meet a cute chick to drool over. (no touching, you're a married man!)

 

It was that DAMN GEO!!!

 

Sorry to hear about that, but I would've done the same thing.

Oh, and I love how you referred to her as Mrs. Raptor.

 

Next time, call me up. I know how to pick locks. Unless you have a deadbolt.

 

No phone, keys, money, neighbors -- no nothing but a rock.

 

A shot of JD would've helped I'm sure!

 

Luke-

You got that right, Amigo.