school or move?
Joined: Mar 2002
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From: Doh!!
Originally Posted by mwy23,Dec 10 2007, 12:19 PM
^ how do you tell the wife that she probably won't succeed? 
thats a matter that deserves its own thread. 
im just trying to be supportive of her desires, as well as my own. i tend to agree that the fashion world is too... competative,
great point about our worlds seperating more and more. that is something that never crossed my mind.
thats a matter that deserves its own thread. im just trying to be supportive of her desires, as well as my own. i tend to agree that the fashion world is too... competative,
great point about our worlds seperating more and more. that is something that never crossed my mind.
in both cases, you'll end up the same place financially. The difference your wife has a diamond or a diploma.
ok... seriously, why don't your wife go works for a fashion designer for a year and really sees if she really likes it.
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Joined: Sep 2007
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From: Queens/Rochester NY
Just an anecdote, a cousin's wife went to a large university with a fashion school many years ago before they got married...wasn't able to use her 4 years though unfortunately. To competitive and tough to get into, she eventually found something else.
This fashion school seems rather sudden. Had she ever mentioned it before? She had an opportunity to move to CA relatively close San Fran (might have to move a little closer) "recently" before you decided to go up to Seattle. If it hasn't been a life long dream, there just seems to many advantages to staying in Seattle, for all the reasons you moved up there to begin with plus all the negatives you said about moving back to CA. There may be opportunities for her in Seattle that is similar to what she wants out of a move to CA. Have her look around locally as well.
I agree with other posters, look more than 5 years down the road, ultimately your wife may be able to find a school in Seattle. Advancing your education
and for free on a company's dime Main reason why I'm probably going to work at a hospital in my home town rather than NYC. I can go to the University of Rochester for graduate work (Nurse Practitioner) and get 100% reimbursed.
This fashion school seems rather sudden. Had she ever mentioned it before? She had an opportunity to move to CA relatively close San Fran (might have to move a little closer) "recently" before you decided to go up to Seattle. If it hasn't been a life long dream, there just seems to many advantages to staying in Seattle, for all the reasons you moved up there to begin with plus all the negatives you said about moving back to CA. There may be opportunities for her in Seattle that is similar to what she wants out of a move to CA. Have her look around locally as well.
I agree with other posters, look more than 5 years down the road, ultimately your wife may be able to find a school in Seattle. Advancing your education
and for free on a company's dime Main reason why I'm probably going to work at a hospital in my home town rather than NYC. I can go to the University of Rochester for graduate work (Nurse Practitioner) and get 100% reimbursed.
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From: Calgary
Originally Posted by CKit,Dec 10 2007, 02:49 PM
Yup it is a little harsh. They are newly married and just pointing out potential pitfalls.
I have some married friends that went through similar things. In the end, it was the Hollywood idealistic perception of the industry that the wife wanted... not the field as it existed in reality.
Quite a few people I know went into music or acting. They were attracted to the "freedom" and the "creativity" and the "coolness" of the fields. They "loved" music / acting. Some studied it in college, others did it through apprenticeship.
Almost none of them found the reality matched up with their expectations. 10 years later, some play Bar Mitzvahs and in the corner at the Starbucks / Borders. Some play bit parts on Disney Cruises.
The one guy who IS happy is a friend that went into music because he loved teaching and music composition. But he was never starry eyed for fame or attention.
That's all I'm saying.
Does she really love the fashion industry or the glittering E! true hollywood story version of the fashion industry she sees on television.
Just my $0.02
I have some married friends that went through similar things. In the end, it was the Hollywood idealistic perception of the industry that the wife wanted... not the field as it existed in reality.
Quite a few people I know went into music or acting. They were attracted to the "freedom" and the "creativity" and the "coolness" of the fields. They "loved" music / acting. Some studied it in college, others did it through apprenticeship.
Almost none of them found the reality matched up with their expectations. 10 years later, some play Bar Mitzvahs and in the corner at the Starbucks / Borders. Some play bit parts on Disney Cruises.
The one guy who IS happy is a friend that went into music because he loved teaching and music composition. But he was never starry eyed for fame or attention.
That's all I'm saying.
Does she really love the fashion industry or the glittering E! true hollywood story version of the fashion industry she sees on television.
Just my $0.02
I would agree that there is definitely a disconnect between the perception of those industries, and the reality of them. I have a couple of friends in show biz who have told me all kinds of stories over the years. They've managed to stay grounded. One of em is the guy who starred in that weak American Pie movie, The Naked Mile. He's a really down-to-earth guy and he maintains that by escaping from LA to Toronto whenever he's not actively working on a project.
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Joined: Nov 2001
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From: Ventura, California, USA
this is a tough situation you are in. I believe you should stay in Seattle assuming your wife agrees. It seems the better option. You'll be better educated and probably up for promotion in a couple of years. That's all tangible goods. While fashion school and San fran are romantic ideals, there are no guarantees. I hope for the best for you.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Stay in Seattle. You're right, the housing market sucks and you wont be able to sell very easily right now. Renting it out could quickly turn into a nightmare. What if they trash the place? What if you get a call at 3 A.M. saying the heat went out? So now you are making less money, living in a more expensive area, and have more headaches to deal with...
Plus the people here are right, the fashion industry is one of those pipe dream jobs when compared to something like engineering. Getting a job after graduating with that type of degree is more luck and who you know than skill. Work on your degree, the one that is a more sure thing investment wise.
I dated a theater major in school...I got my degree in Engineering. I got an awesome job after school, have had some great promotions, and am at a pretty good point in my life. She has worked lots of odds and ends jobs, mostly service industry type jobs. Sure, she has landed a few acting jobs along the way...but nothing to call a career yet. We are no longer together, but I hear all the time from her how "it's not fair" that I make so much money and she doesn't make shit. It's a great point of frustration for her and it gets taken out on me sometimes. I get sick of hearing about it from her. She knew going into it that a career was never guaranteed and that it would be really hard work. I bring this up because I don't even live in the same state as she does...your going to have to put up with it more being she is your wife and all...
Plus the people here are right, the fashion industry is one of those pipe dream jobs when compared to something like engineering. Getting a job after graduating with that type of degree is more luck and who you know than skill. Work on your degree, the one that is a more sure thing investment wise.
I dated a theater major in school...I got my degree in Engineering. I got an awesome job after school, have had some great promotions, and am at a pretty good point in my life. She has worked lots of odds and ends jobs, mostly service industry type jobs. Sure, she has landed a few acting jobs along the way...but nothing to call a career yet. We are no longer together, but I hear all the time from her how "it's not fair" that I make so much money and she doesn't make shit. It's a great point of frustration for her and it gets taken out on me sometimes. I get sick of hearing about it from her. She knew going into it that a career was never guaranteed and that it would be really hard work. I bring this up because I don't even live in the same state as she does...your going to have to put up with it more being she is your wife and all...
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Joined: Sep 2004
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From: SJC
Before I make a call, I need to know a few things:
1. How old is the OP (29 according the profile), and the OP's wife.
2. The wife's educational background, including high school grades (if applicable).
3. The wife's specific field of study within the fashion industry.
1. How old is the OP (29 according the profile), and the OP's wife.
2. The wife's educational background, including high school grades (if applicable).
3. The wife's specific field of study within the fashion industry.
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 846
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From: Stratford
Originally Posted by CKit,Dec 10 2007, 01:49 PM
Yup it is a little harsh. They are newly married and just pointing out potential pitfalls.
I have some married friends that went through similar things. In the end, it was the Hollywood idealistic perception of the industry that the wife wanted... not the field as it existed in reality.
Quite a few people I know went into music or acting. They were attracted to the "freedom" and the "creativity" and the "coolness" of the fields. They "loved" music / acting. Some studied it in college, others did it through apprenticeship.
Almost none of them found the reality matched up with their expectations. 10 years later, some play Bar Mitzvahs and in the corner at the Starbucks / Borders. Some play bit parts on Disney Cruises.
The one guy who IS happy is a friend that went into music because he loved teaching and music composition. But he was never starry eyed for fame or attention.
That's all I'm saying.
Does she really love the fashion industry or the glittering E! true hollywood story version of the fashion industry she sees on television.
Just my $0.02
I have some married friends that went through similar things. In the end, it was the Hollywood idealistic perception of the industry that the wife wanted... not the field as it existed in reality.
Quite a few people I know went into music or acting. They were attracted to the "freedom" and the "creativity" and the "coolness" of the fields. They "loved" music / acting. Some studied it in college, others did it through apprenticeship.
Almost none of them found the reality matched up with their expectations. 10 years later, some play Bar Mitzvahs and in the corner at the Starbucks / Borders. Some play bit parts on Disney Cruises.
The one guy who IS happy is a friend that went into music because he loved teaching and music composition. But he was never starry eyed for fame or attention.
That's all I'm saying.
Does she really love the fashion industry or the glittering E! true hollywood story version of the fashion industry she sees on television.
Just my $0.02
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,089
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From: WA
solid responses, thanks guys. i have to defend my wife a bit here tho, if i didn't then i'd be an asshole.
the wifey isn't interested in fashion for the glitz and glamor. she just really likes coats and jackets, like how we like cars (assumption). she wants to design coats, and she feels the best way for her to go about doing that is to go to school. she could try and find a job, or even try to design her own coat in her spare time.. definitely possible, and if we don't move, then that'll likely be her only options if she wanted to pursue that desire.
realistically, yes, her going to fashion school, graduating and finding a job is an arduous task... but i feel its good to feed her thirst for education (even if it is in something that might lead to nowhere). some (including me) have trouble thinking of fashion school as something educational, but im not interested in fashion and certainly don't find clothing educational.
she would disagree.
i'm 28, wife is 25. she has a BA in Asian Studies (worthless IMHO) and currently works as an escrow assistant (suxors job). i wouldn't say she is a scholar and her grades reflect that. i haven't asked deeply into what field of fashion she would study (i didn't even know there were different fields! )
great read here, thanks everyone.
the wifey isn't interested in fashion for the glitz and glamor. she just really likes coats and jackets, like how we like cars (assumption). she wants to design coats, and she feels the best way for her to go about doing that is to go to school. she could try and find a job, or even try to design her own coat in her spare time.. definitely possible, and if we don't move, then that'll likely be her only options if she wanted to pursue that desire.
realistically, yes, her going to fashion school, graduating and finding a job is an arduous task... but i feel its good to feed her thirst for education (even if it is in something that might lead to nowhere). some (including me) have trouble thinking of fashion school as something educational, but im not interested in fashion and certainly don't find clothing educational.
she would disagree.i'm 28, wife is 25. she has a BA in Asian Studies (worthless IMHO) and currently works as an escrow assistant (suxors job). i wouldn't say she is a scholar and her grades reflect that. i haven't asked deeply into what field of fashion she would study (i didn't even know there were different fields!
)great read here, thanks everyone.
