Mitch Hedberg was from around here and they are doing a tribute show this weekend so they posted some of his jokes in the paper.

Enjoy....


I got a business card made, because I want to win some lunches. That's what my business card says: "Mitch Hedberg, potential lunch winner."

 

He had some great stuff

 

All the good ones overdose, such a shame

 

Or blow themselves away (Hunter S. Thompson)

 

I hear his stuff on the XM comedy channel all the time. His deliveries are great -- totally straight-faced with a monotone voice; like his jokes are matter-of-fact.

 

Yeah, too bad he left early, his stuff would get me rolling on the floor in tears. It's his delivery that makes it that much more funny as well.

BTW, the other Mitch is funny too. Mitch Fatel. Definitely good stuff.

 

I've got a CD with most of those jokes on them. He's hilarious... and I agree, his delivery is what makes most of the jokes.

One of my personal favorites... (probably won't be funny just by reading it... you'd have to hear it...)

"I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow anything. Hey, how about some celery? Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen."

I laughed so hard the first time I heard that.

 

One of my favorites is when he's talking about tartar on his teeth. He says "Man, I got so much tartar, when I eat fish sticks I ain't gotta dip them in shit."

 

The new york deli sandwich and club sandwich routines are my all time favorites.


"New york deli sandwiches have so much meat on them they look like a cow with a cracker on either side. So I ordered a pastrami sandwich and the dude asked "do you want anything else with that?" and I said yeah....how about a loaf of bread and some more people!"

 

"I wrote a paper and the teacher told me to re-write it. I said, F#$% that, I'll just make a copy."