While I was driving down the road the other day (goinga little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radargun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.

The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher??
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ..."

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless

 

 

nice... obviously not the way to get out of a ticket... stupid guy should have seen it coming.

 

hahahahhahahaha

 

Repost, but still funny.