Entries from the Washington Post's annual contest where readers are asked to take any standard word from the dictionary, changing, adding or deleting only one letter, and provide a new definition. This year's winners are:

1. Intaxication - Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

2. Reintardation - Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, fortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy - Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffati - Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm - The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Innoculatte - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis - Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis - A degenerate disease.

11. Karmageddon - It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon - The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido - All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit - The frantic dance performed just after you've accidenbtly walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug - Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3:00 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor - The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the grand prize winner:
18. Ignoranus - A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 

good stuff

I can totally agree with 15, I hate it when it happens, especially the ones that fly through the air and right into you face it makes me go crazy lol

 

Those are great!
Reminded me of a word a fellow cohort coined years ago. Hearatation. . . . to be hearatating. The art of appearing to listen while being focused on something else entirely.

 

good shit old man

 

Phonesia - the immediate lapse of memory that occurs when you forget whom you are calling

 

We should make a game of this, using the same rules.

 

I'm not clever enough.