everyone knows that things are fun in the beginning of relationships.

then they settle down and can be in the spectrum of pretty nice to horrific.

then society, peers, friends etc all hint that you should get married. i equate this to a bunch of school children standing on the sidelines telling you to jump into a dark hole while they watch. and then there are the ones who are already in the dark hole, telling you to come join them while they argue with their "better half" about something irrelevant.

this issue has nothing to do with the person you are getting married to. I'm asking about the phenomenon of getting married and the effects it has on people/couples in general. from my observations, people getting married seems to be a downgrade in terms of how people feel about each other and how they treat each other. i know there are many married people who will call me stupid, but pls, I'm just trying to hear some objective opinions. It is logical that it would be a downgrade in energy, fun, enjoyment. the more time you spend the someone, the less special each moment becomes to an extent. it sucks but it is human nature. at best, being married means you can build a life together and feel secure (more for women than men) which can be rewarding. but couples can do all of that without being married. the only real difference i see is a tax savings.

imo, there seems to be something intangible that is lost in the union. like the edge is taken off and life becomes duller. it doesnt have to, but it often seems to. in my maybe naive opinion, the best relationship would be one where people are not legally bound together, but rather they choose to be together on a daily basis. and the ongoing risk of losing that person may make you appreciate/notice them more.

and this is all before you have kids. let's not talk about that part yet.


I'd really like to hear your thoughts.

thanks in advance.

 

Last December we celebrated our 31[sup]st[/sup] wedding anniversary.

We aren't together because we're legally bound together; we're together because we've decided to be together. We decided that 32 years ago. If we had to decide it today, the decision would be the same.

If things get worse when people get married, that's the fault of the people, not a fault of marriage.

Gross!

They might choose to be together daily, but please, please, please, not "on a daily basis". Gross! Remove that construction from your vocabulary!

 

IMO Marriage is not taken seriously anymore, if it ever was. This is the McDonalds generation, I want what I want and I want it now, me me me. The divorce statistics are there as evidence, people rather take the easy way out and seem to have NO understanding that marriage takes work and dedication. It is not a candy store there just to please and entertain.

IMO its all about respect and compromise, and seems people today are unwilling to do that. Its either my way or the highway mentalities.

SO I guess that it seems it has lost its original meaning, some get it and some dont.

The loss of luster can come from people just getting too comfortable and not respecting the others boundaries, we get lazy, fat, stop looking for ways to impress the other, put our own greed ahead of partners needs and feelings etc...

I can see where youre going though, the "Honey Moon" period isnt something thats made to last. Love seems to be seriously confused with infatuation and euphoria, and when that high wears off, so does the infatuation. It is at that point will the couple see what they are truly made of. You dont truly know someone, till you fight them.

my $.02

 

I'm 25 married my wife who is 8 year older. Been married for 1 1/2 year.

-Life is a bit duller in terms of socializing with friends(not drinking or going out as much.)
-Lost a couple friends and some friends I don't see often.
-You can't be selfish in your decisions.
-No more meeting single ladies(this was an issue for me at first, but after the first year I got over it. It almost destroyed the marriage.)

-It made me a better person.
-Always going to have support from your wife. (This is the most important thing for me.)
-Vacations/trips more often.
-More cautious of spending money on dumb things.
-I would say it equals out in terms of fun, depending on what type of person you choose to marry.

Not sure if this helps being I'm just a year into my marriage but honestly I don't have any regrets.

Kyushin, I can agree with you on the weight as I've seen 2 of my best friends put on a few lbs after marriage. This personally hasn't happen to me. I still continue my workout routine. I would say that is a personal issue with the mind if you happen to get to comfortable where you just pack on the lbs.

 

magician, it's news to me about my poor sentence construction. it still sounds ok to me. are you sure it cant be said like that and why not? just saying "daily" doesnt seem to be completely accurate.

 

thank you for your reply. I mean no insult, but can't a couple have all those pros without getting married?

 

 

i am single so my opinion doesn't matter to some, but take it how you want. I agree with this guy. with people getting married 2-3 times makes marriage a sham, it is not taken seriously anymore.
i spent five years in the navy and did two deployments and i can honestly say 3 out of every 4 guys that i worked with had their wives cheat on them while they were out. that is a slightly different world but it just goes to show that the promise is not taken seriously. it has became a status figure instead of a life long relationship.

 

It is. "Daily", as an adverb, means "occuring every day". You go to bed daily, you eat lunch daily, you post on s2ki.com daily, and so on.

It "can be said like that" - people do it all the time - but what do the words "on a" and "basis" add to the sentence? What purpose do they serve, apart from changing "daily" from an adverb to an adjective?

What they do is clutter the language. Three words we don't need are used relentlessly (not "on a relentless basis"). Here's an eye-opening (ear-opening?) exercise for you: count how many time you hear "on a <fill-in-your-favorite-adjective> basis" in a single day. You'll find it's pervasive, and it makes the language monotonous.

What's worse, people take that awful structure and try to expand on it. Two weeks ago I taught a class in which the lecture notes I used (prepared be someone else) had this sentence (comparing three bonds):


"Price" isn't even an adjective, so this sounded all the more stupid. Imagine if it had read:


Or, better still:


OK, I'm off the soapbox now. Temporarily.

 

It is by some of us.