so given that info, which i unfortunately agree with, how would you approach/feel about the idea of getting married? It again, seems like a perfect set up for disaster. and in the best case scenario, success would be people fighter their natural mental progression (i still think laziness is genetic. conservation of energy when resources are low mean longer survival).

 

I'm not a believer that the act of laziness is genetic, that it's environmental and self propelling. Now I do understand that there are genetic strands that promote self-laziness, but they're not a couch-potato defacto gene like say, the gene for blue eyes or brown hair. If you have these genetic tendencies, you have two choices; succumb or transcend. I'm not a believer in succumbing personally. Technology has promoted, encouraged, and enabled the lazy to survive quite well. As you said the lazy theory is, why put out more energy than you need to. That's a flawed thought though, because energy is self created and expanded. By exerting energy you promote energy coupling; your body is a reactor, using energy creates more energy. Your theory about energy conservation and long survival is flawed; up to a point. Over-exertion of energy will run you down; but using energy up to your own personal breaking point will lead to longer survival.

To answer your first part, while I'm not in a relationship right now, and I'm still relatively young at 25; I'm very much looking for the day when I'm able to seal a union as beautiful as that. Yet again I have a different mental thought about what marriage/love should and shouldn't be. The thought that 'I need you to complete me' is the flaw in thought. It promotes dependance, and disguises the holes that make you incomplete. A lot of people know seem to think about relationships as 'You[1/2]+Me[1/2]=1', where I look at a relationship as 'You[1]+Me[1]=1+1. Why? Two people should use their own [already] completeness to bolster the [already] completeness of their partner, this I find is the ultimate path to happiness. Two energy sources shouldn't fuse together as that's weaker than two flames dancing and feeding off each other. While only symbolic in nature; take a double wicked candle where the wicks are close together and light them. The flame is only barely bigger than the flame on a single wick. Take two candles and place them next to eachother where the wicks are seperates and the candle's aren't one, and watch the flames dance in union. When one grows they grow together.

I'm not afraid of marriage, because I can't be responsible wholy for the actions of others. If my marriage crumbles it will not be the work of my own, and thus there's not much I can do. I will never lay the touch of corruption with my hands, it's an oath I've taken within my inner divine. Therefore, I'm quite excited about reaching that point in my life.

 

Bill- Hi to Marlana and the boys (now men), and the horses. We need to get together sometime soon. We just reupped our season tickets. Let's do a game.

 

My wife and I were together for many years before getting married, and that happened most because I got laid off and needed to be put on her health insurance. Our relationship had nothing to do with a religion or the state of Texas, so there was no reason to get married. Unlike my former employer, hers offered coverage only to spouses and *same*-sex domestic partners, not opposite-sex domestic partners. There are a few other benefits from a legal standpoint, like survivorship benefits and medical stuff. Hopefully our tax return won't be negatively impacted, though. Now that we're married, I can't say that there's any different in the relationship at all.

 

Mark, didn't realize you'd tied the knot!

Either way, I think what matters most is commitment. People aren't taking marriage seriously but that is really just a reflection of them not taking their relationship seriously. Marriage typically involves a vow (ie, a promise) which makes it binding and/or official. However, people are hardly known for their integrity or sticking to their promises these days. So, in all, I think it has nothing to do with marriage being taken seriously but rather people taking themselves seriously. Everything is temporary and subject to change, whims and the latest piece of ass walking by (excuse the vulgarity).

Everything in our society is pointing to self-gratification, personal enjoyment, selfishness and enjoying things now. You see very little presentation of long-term thinking, the idea of investing (financially, relationally, etc, etc) and the importance of commitment.

I understand that people change. I also understand that people jump in and out of things like they're taking a bath. There is very little forethought, careful analysis or consideration of future repercussions. There is a lack of consideration, up front, for what is coming down the road.

As such, relationships tend to fail. People tend to fail. Rinse and repeat.

I'm married. I believe in the institution of marriage (just celebrated my 10th anniversary last weekend). However, I don't believe in it for everyone because a huge number of people don't have the ability to choose the right person or the commitment to work through temporary issues (however big or small) that are going to arise. I've had a few rough spots in my marriage but we've always worked through them and we've come out as far better people. I'm happier with my wife now than the day I married her.

You don't need marriage to be committed. However, you need commitment to be married. Without it, I see no reason to get married.

 

I'm sure its seriousness, or lack, comes from our individual upbringing. I'm the child of a broken family, with mom remarrying (and divorcing) three times. Dad was smarter and never remarried. And so it happens that marriage doesn't mean much to me, aside from the legal aspect, as I myself pursue Liz Taylor's divorce record...

Of course, if I was not allowed to divorce I suppose I'd be in jail for homocide.

 

WIN!!

 

whiteflash, it should be a different discussion but i am not able to understand the idea that energy makes energy. we're talkin bear grylls situations of survival. u would tell him to expend more energy to make energy...

what you said about failure of the relationship not being your fault is partially what im getting at. how can you look fwd to a union that you cannot control and or predict the failure of? what is the point of even making that step? if someone tells me that marriage is solely for the purpose of protecting finances/property then that makes sense. but so far, the best ive heard in this discussion is that things are the same as before we were married. Then what is the point???

There are countless shows, movies, books that produce laughs based on how relationships wane the longer the couple know each other. old couples in their own worlds while they sleep on the same bed as some kind of formality. all works of fiction, but based in some sort of reality. most mid to old couples look boring and monotonous at best if they've managed to stay together. don't you ever wonder why everyone speeds towards that "train wreck?"

the rush makes sense for women, of course, as their value decreases with age, but does that make it a smart thing to do for everyone?

 

Up his breaking point, yes, absolutely. You won't make it through tomorrow if you weaken today.

You never have control of any aspect of life really. If you think you do talk to the kid that gets hit by a car, the daughter killed by a drunk driver, the cancer survivor, the mentally disabled. What is the point in stepping out the front door? Getting out of bed? Why not hang yourself? So far all I've heard you say is your defense of your fear against a word; you already agreed that marriage is simply a word to define a union that already existed. Nothing changes, except you or them. You have control over one, and you can certainly use your helping hands for the other.

I've seen countless movies, read countless books, and listened to countless radio shows about people being chopped into pieces, raped, whatever at little middle of nowhere motels. Why do people stay at them?

Like I said, you get out what you put in and all I'm see'ing is negativity. Amazing sex whenever, a real heart bond, a best friend, a teammate, a fellow adventurer, a fellow conqueror, someone to laugh with, someone to laugh at, someone who laughs at you, someone that guides you, someone you can help guide. Why not get married?

 

It's called faith.