Todays Funny
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,086
Likes: 0
From: St. Pete, Florida
RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW
(Please note: These are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as computers, movies or cars.
1. Sunday = DO NOTHING. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints DO NOT work. Strong hints DO NOT work. Obvious hints DO NOT work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
1. Check your oil. Please.
1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done
(Please note: These are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as computers, movies or cars.
1. Sunday = DO NOTHING. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints DO NOT work. Strong hints DO NOT work. Obvious hints DO NOT work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
1. Check your oil. Please.
1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,592
Likes: 0
From: Yorba Linda, CA
Originally posted by Palmateer
1. Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
1. Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
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