So a little while back I posted this:

https://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=797388

Not to long ago I ended it. After 5+ years that cake was baked (for a multitude of reasons, ultimately leading to infidelity on his behalf and really adding salt to the wound). While I'm not actively looking or really interested in dating at the moment, ultimately I'll need to get back out there...

Long story short this is a complainy/vent thread.

Lets look at the numbers:
Its estimated that about 10% of the population is gay. Only about 4% are open. Luckily (right?), I live in Tampa, which ranks fourth largest by percentage (6.x%) in the country. So just based on the numbers, I am looking for someone in my 6%. The greater bay area (including St Pete, Clearwater, Sarasota, Brandon, etc) adds up to around 4M people. Lets be optimistic and say I'm looking at 240,00 people to pull from. Now subtract for age (only interested in 25-35), status (single/taken) and race (white/hispanic).

Then you factor in personal criteria.. compatibility, chemistry and complimentary traits that we all look for...

The problem is, while I am openly gay and comfortable with myself.. I'm not "ghey". While I can queer it up and appreciate elements offered by the "community" like rocking out to Gaga or obsessing over hygiene and appearance.. ultimately I just want a man's man.. that isn't self loathing (i.e., identity issues.. I don't have time/energy to help you figure out what you want "bicurious832" on hookup site). I'm attractive. I'm 23, I float at 9-10% BF, 175lbs, gym 4-5x week, 6' and am good looking. I'm prior military, make good money, am independent, school full time and have good friends...

Anyway, I want someone whos attractive (active, athletic/muscular and into lifting/running), into (or at least appreciates my passion for) cars, literate (currently in/has attended school), career/future oriented, and sane. I don't think they exist.

I go to the gym or car meets or hang out with friends and it kills me.. I guess the myopic belief that there is another "me" out there is dwindling. Why can't there just be 'normal' guys in the "scene." I've been out for 5 years and bartend part time at a huge gay resort. I understand (and am starting to detest) the gay community and its makeup.

At the risk of sounding like a bitter dating ad... its just looking ****** bleak. Must be nice to be a part of that other 96%. UMAD.

/rant. C&C welcome.

 

Why no Asian homos, you douche?

In all seriousness, just chillax. You just got out of a 5-yr relationship, take some time out to relax; no need to rush into another one. Too bad you don't want an Asian homo, otherwise, I could hook you up with a cute one that fits well into your criteria.

 

it's probably because you're ugly and your mom dresses you funny. But that's just my take. I could totally be wrong.

 

Try girls? Not much better, imo. Sucks about the infidelity, and self-pity is ok...but the more you wallow the less attractive you usually get...

The way I see it, why do you need someone? I mean, sure its great but the freedom is also nice? I guess I never ever plan on going out with someone (ha-ha...ive been single for less than a year in the past 6 years) and I love being single. When relationships happen they just...happen?

 

don't give up so easily.

 

I don't think it matters. Sometimes it's luck of the draw and just stumbling into the right place at the right time. Sometimes it requires you to lower your standards or to just realize that the perfect person for you isn't necessarily perfect at all. And sometimes things just don't work out. Such is life.

I'm 33 and single. I'm about 7 years overdue for finding Mrs. Right, according to my personal Master Plan. But what I've learned is that plans don't count for squat. You can plan & try & hope all you want, but sometimes you just don't get what you want.

But that doesn't mean you give up. You enjoy the ride, enjoy the people you meet, and make the most of whatever comes your way. Keep your eyes open for what you want, but don't get tunnel vision.

Best of luck to ya.

 

I agree with Ming. Don't give up, when you least expect it someone will come along.

I had pretty much given up hope of finding the right girl and was almost to the point of just settling on one that would put up with me. Then I went out with the girl that became my wife. We've been together since 82 and have a hell of a lot in common.

There truely is no reason to think that the right guy won't come along for you. It may take some time but it will be worth it in the end. I understand your "ghey" comment and dislike of the gay community. We have gay friends that say almost the same thing. "He's disgusting. He's not our kind of gay."

Your kind of gay is out there, so don't give up. My guess is that you're not likely to find your kind of gay at a large gay resort. Maybe spend more time at car shows and with your car friends or doing the things you like to do. Seems to me it would give you a better chance to meet a guy with your interest.

 

This. Trust me, as guy looking for the right-for-me lady out there, it can be pretty disheartening for the other side of it. Just get your mind off of it with friends and good times.

 

This is a game of emotion NOT a math puzzle.

 

If you think you have it bad, try finding a woman with those characteristics!