the world's funniest joke
Thread Starter
Former Moderator
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 20,448
Likes: 0
From: internet
the world's funniest joke
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...nm/life_joke_dc
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 785
Likes: 0
From: Louisville, KY
Two Arabs are chatting. One of them has his wallet out and is flipping
through pictures. "Yeah, this is my oldest. He's a martyr. Here's my
second son. He's a martyr, too."
There's a pause...
The second Arab says, wistfully, "Ah, they blow up so fast, don't they?"
through pictures. "Yeah, this is my oldest. He's a martyr. Here's my
second son. He's a martyr, too."
There's a pause...
The second Arab says, wistfully, "Ah, they blow up so fast, don't they?"
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,686
Likes: 0
From: Richmond, VA
Two men are in the desert. One of them gets bit by a snake in his scrotum. Luckily there's a telephone nearby. The other guy calls 911.
"my friend's been bit by a snake, what do i do?!"
the operator responds, "tell him to lay down."
he yells to his friend in the distance, "lay down, lay down!!"
he asks the operator, "what do i next?"
the operator responds, "tell him to relax and take deep breaths."
he yells to his friend in the distance, "relax and take deep breaths!!"
he tells the operator, "he's laying down relaxing and taking deep breaths, what next?"
the operator responds, "you're going to have to suck the venom out."
after a long silence, the bitten friend yells back, "what did they say, what did they say?!!"
he responds, "they say you're going to die."
"my friend's been bit by a snake, what do i do?!"
the operator responds, "tell him to lay down."
he yells to his friend in the distance, "lay down, lay down!!"
he asks the operator, "what do i next?"
the operator responds, "tell him to relax and take deep breaths."
he yells to his friend in the distance, "relax and take deep breaths!!"
he tells the operator, "he's laying down relaxing and taking deep breaths, what next?"
the operator responds, "you're going to have to suck the venom out."
after a long silence, the bitten friend yells back, "what did they say, what did they say?!!"
he responds, "they say you're going to die."
Trending Topics
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 242
Likes: 0
From: Bountiful
A man who is not impressed with the size of his member decides that he has had enough laughs and wants some medical help. So he goes to this sergeon and asks "What are my options?" The doctor proceedes to tell him that they have come up with this new procedure where they actually implant a part of an elephants trunk. The man is so desperate that he decided to go through with the procedure...
Three months later he is out on his first date since the procedure and is sitting down accross the dinner table from his date. The waiter comes out and pours the water and serves them a few hard rolls and butter. As soon as the waiter leaves, out from under the table the mans member comes up as fast as light and grabs a roll and as fast as it came up it went down again. His date sits across the table with her mouth gapeing wide open. She looks at him and says, "That was unbelievable, can you do that again?" The man says, "Yeah, but I don't think that my a$$ could take another hard roll."
Three months later he is out on his first date since the procedure and is sitting down accross the dinner table from his date. The waiter comes out and pours the water and serves them a few hard rolls and butter. As soon as the waiter leaves, out from under the table the mans member comes up as fast as light and grabs a roll and as fast as it came up it went down again. His date sits across the table with her mouth gapeing wide open. She looks at him and says, "That was unbelievable, can you do that again?" The man says, "Yeah, but I don't think that my a$$ could take another hard roll."
