Your dancing and the band skips!

You run away from home and it takes all four sides of the milk carton to post you pic!


Your drivers license says "pic continued on other side"!

You have never been to the beach at low tide.

You go to the restaurant and when your date is asked whether he would like a menu, he says "No, an estimate"

You have several smaller women in orbit.

Kids love taking you to the beach to sell shade

When the county demands that you wear a sign that describes how to handle a grease fire

You realize that when you lie on the floor, you are taller than when you are standing up.

When you try to go thru a door sideways, you find that you have no sideways

You have to iron your clothes in the driveway

After you put on your BVD's the waistband spells "Boulevard"

You step on the scale and it says "uncle"

You wear an "X" jacket and helocopters try to land on your back

When your belt size is Equator.

If you're dark skinned and your car looks like it has tinted windows.

If you cannot reach your own rear end to wipe.

If you have not seen your privates in years.

If you have to stop at a roadside weigh station.

If you're sitting on your s/o's lap and they cannot hear the radio.

If your s/o arrives with a team of shirpas to 'climb' you.

You buy your clothes at a drapery shop.

If it only takes a shot glass of water to fill the tub with you in it.

If the neighborhood pool overflows when you walk in.

You take up 2 seats at the movie theater and don't feel the arm rest!!

Your body is shaped like the liberty bell, only your crack is bigger

you use a boomerang to put on a belt

you sat on a dollar and made change

you sat on a rainbow and made skittles

you jumped in the air and got stuck

When you have to have a stripe painted on you to tell if you're walking or rolling.

When a cop sees you out at night walking down the street and yells "Hey!! Break it up"

People at the beach try to roll you back into the sea

 

you get done having sex and roll over to smoke....a ham

you step on a scale and it says please step out of the car or you look down and see your phone number...with the area code

you put mayonaise on asprin

you eat pumpkin pies like tic tacs

it takes two trains and a bus just to get to your good side

you wake up in sections

you look like you are smuggling in a volkswagen.

your shadow weighs 50 pounds

Your yearbook picture is an arial.

your S/o climbs on top of you and thier ears pop

you step on a rainbow and it busts into skittles

you step on a quarter and you squish a booger out of GW's nose

you go to the movies and sit next to....everybody

they change the tags on the backs of shirts to one size fits most

the sign at the resturant says "seats 250 or you"

you whistle bass

you stand up and the sun goes out

your ass looks like two pigs fighting over a tootsie roll

the horse on your polo shirt is real

you take off your slip, and your feet dissappear

your cereal bowl comes with a life guard

you get in an elevator and it HAS to go down

you bungee jump and go straight to hell