Inspired by a thread on PhotographyonNet...
08-03-2007, 03:38 PM
#1
Former Moderator
Thread Starter
Inspired by a thread on PhotographyonNet...
Although they provide pretty compelling evidence... 
* Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
* Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
* Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
* Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
* Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
* Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
* Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
* Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
* When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
* Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
* Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
* Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
* Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
* Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
* Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
* Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
* Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
* Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
* When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
* Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
* On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
* Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
* When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
* For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
* Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
* Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
* Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
* The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
* Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
* A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
* Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
* Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...d.php?t=357406
Your thoughts?
* Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
* Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
* Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
* Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
* Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
* Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
* Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
* Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
* When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
* Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
* Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
* Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
* Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
* Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
* Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
* Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
* Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
* Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
* When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
* Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
* On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
* Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
* When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
* For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
* Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
* Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
* Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
* The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
* Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
* A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
* Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
* Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...d.php?t=357406
Your thoughts?
08-03-2007, 06:08 PM
#2
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F-CKING awesome! LOL
Some real keepers there. This one was pretty funny "Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one"
And this one, but actually refers to me - "The term tripod was coined after his silhouette" LOL
Some real keepers there. This one was pretty funny "Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one"
And this one, but actually refers to me - "The term tripod was coined after his silhouette" LOL
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08-06-2007, 01:07 PM
#8
Registered User
Ha, ha, ha, ha. That was great! I think KR has good intentions but he is just such a big blowhard with more opinions than facts. Too many noobs think he's a valid reference source. In the Nikon world he is one of my pet peeves.
08-06-2007, 01:59 PM
#9
Former Moderator
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Penforhire,Aug 6 2007, 04:07 PM
Ha, ha, ha, ha. That was great! I think KR has good intentions but he is just such a big blowhard with more opinions than facts. Too many noobs think he's a valid reference source. In the Nikon world he is one of my pet peeves.
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