Give him a break. It's a kid's essay for English class (OK so he will never be a writer). At least he tried and did his best to fill it full of imagery. Grammar, spelling and punctuation could use quite a bit of work.

Nice job, OP. What did you get on it? B- would be my guess. Maybe C+?

 

I wrote it a long time ago when I was still in high school. I actually got an A. It was suppose to be a descriptive essay. My teacher said it was nice COLLEGE LEVEL writing. Although I wrote it the day before it was due, like most high school kids. ahahaha

 

Easy grader. Not an honors English student, huh? It really is full of grammatical errors and usage errors but I enjoyed the imagery. I'm sure I wouldn't have done much better in high school.

 

sorry, but the car hadn't broken in and you already vtec'ed? I know nothing about cars, but I thought we weren't suppose to flog it for a couple thousand miles?

....Unless the engines are broken in from the factory.

 

awesome that your first experience inspired you to write all of that!
but the essay is seriously in need of repair. don't make it seem like you're trying as hard and your written voice will come across better

 

what do you guys expect from a high school kid

 

i enjoyed reading it. i thought it was a good descriptive essay. lots of details that helped me really understand what you was going on, the enviroment, and your feelings.
but then again, i am no english major. FINANCE FTW!!!!!!

 

nice story. i test drove a BB one too. back than it was my homie's car, but it's mine now. traded in my 350Z to buy his... i just love the 3rd gear on the s, probably one of the best 3rd gear out there.

 

If you wrote this in HS... how old were you when you graduated?

 

The only time I ever got A's in high school English class was in the 11th. grade; All the rest of the time I passed by the skin of my teeth. Apparently it doesn't mean much, since being a poor English student hasn't stopped me from having numerous articles published. Anyway, FWIW, don't let the criticisms of your grammar discourage you. Grammar and spelling are far less important than having something interesting to say, and being able to meet deadlines.