You win. That was awesome.

 

Buy a tow hitch from U-haul.
It's available for 2000-2003 MY S2000.
And then, search Yakima web site for a board carrier that connects to the hitch.

 

I saw a guy with a snowboard rack that mounts to the window. the boards mount on the side of the car.

 

I guess you could use one of these to hold your boards:


I remember seeing somebody here on the boards post this up years ago when I first joined.
Here's the link: S2000 Trunk Rack

Oh, come to think of it, there's also this model (this is on a Z3, but you get the idea):


Here's where you can get one of those (you'll have to get it imported): S2000 Boot Rack