We are coming up onto my father's 100th birthday Born 9/19/1906

Sadly, he's been gone for a little over 20 years....did not even make it to 80. There are lots of things that I never took time to talk to him about.....and he was not easy to draw out. My daughter had 7 years to get to know him, but my son was only 3 years old at his passing.....doesn't remember either of his grandfathers at all

Most of you (except dlq04 ) are younger than me and have parents who are younger too. Do you take/make the time....while you have it....to enjoy your parents (and the other relatives of this generation, too).

EDIT: Changed the text to make 9/19 a future date....not the one at the time of the post

 

That's an excellent point to keep in mind during the day-to-day of our busy lives.

I lost my last grandparent (paternal grandmother) 10 years ago this coming January ... my yougest was 9 mo old at the time, and garnered the last smile from her climbing on the bed after she'd been unconscious for several days ... Grandma passed away a couple of hours later.

Just because they're gone doesn't take away the fond memories we had of the time they were here with us.

Hope today's remembrance was a good one for you and your family

 

Jerry,
Are you sure you know what day it is? I'm beginning to worry about you.
Levi

 

9/6/06 = 9/19/06 Welcome to my world Jerry.







At least I have an excuss, I like to drink.







In any case, you raise a good point. This past Labor Day was the first without my mother joining us for brats in the backyard. It was tough.

 

I definitely make time...don't really have much choice, since I'm pretty much the responsible party, but I'd do it anyway. My parents (90 and 84) are close by, as is my aunt (98 and counting). I see all of them alot. Only other close older relative still living is my mother's sister in Virginia Beach. Everyone else has passed on.

 

My dad died at a very young age (just short of his 68th birthday) and I'm glad to say I spent a great deal of time with him. Often he and I would take off in my little MG (which he LOVED) and spend whole days together. It was rare that I ever missed a single day of at least chatting with him on the telephone. In his last years he was terribly ill and confined to a wheelchair unable to speak/feed himself, etc. My sisters were stay at home moms, so they went over to see him, take him out for rides, etc. in the daytime and I went over every afternoon as soon as I got off work to feed him and spend time with him. I regret none of those times. Milemarker dates that bring me down into a bit of depression/grief are Christmas, Easter, the anniversary of the day he died, my own birthday, his birthday, my parents' wedding anniversary. Those days he comes to mind and I miss his twinkling blue eyes, the lock of curls that always tumbled over his forehead, the dimple in his chin. My mother lives nearby and is extremely active and apparently very healthy. She stays on the go with her male friend most of the time and it is hard for me to ever be able to see her or spend any real time with her. I call her often and occasionally she returns the call. Otherwise, I try to make the time to go to her church from time to time since that's the only place that I know where she'll be at any given time . Her birthday was a couple/weeks ago and I went over and spent part of the day with her. It was nice. She openly discussed her relationship with her "friend" and told that as much as she enjoys having someone to go out and do things with, it is hollow since no one can replace my dad. I'd like to spend more time with mother, but believe me when I say I'm delighted she has a boyfriend and totally delighted that she gets out and lives life rather than sits at home waiting on a phone call or visit from me or one of my siblings.

 

Lucky Guys;my mother died at 34,and my father at 52.(cancer)

 

^Wow, that sucks. Makes you who you are in life, I guess.

I saw my dad yesterday. He's 81 and still knows who I am but not too much else. It's cute that he thinks another lady in the Dementia unit of their assisted living home is his wife. Yesterday I told them about going over 100 mph at Willow Springs on Sunday, and Betty (the lady) told my dad to slap my hand.

 

I wish things were such that I could be closer w/ my dad, and mom for that matter.
Distance for me is not measured in miles, but the gulf that spans between what is and what could/ should be...broken or never formed healthy parent/ child relationships seem irreparable. When I hear of those who have that bond I'm glad that it really does exist.
My dad will be 80 in a couple of weeks and we're all getting togehter for a celebration. It seems hollow however when it's not wrapped around a connection.
Perhaps the cherished memory of a missing dad is more precious than the longing for one that is still alive but not present. (Don't mean to be so gloomy, but this obviuosly touches a nerve...bear w/ my cathartic moment please)

 

^ It is sad when relationships don't work out, whether family or other kinds. But you can't force it. When you do, it just makes things worse. I believe in not giving up entirely on family and friends, though, unless there are really toxic reasons for the distance - substance abuse, emotional/physical abuse, or whatever. Is there any way you can say a few words to your dad at the party about wanting to be closer to him? If not, just try to live your own life with as few regrets as possible. Good luck.