I can't really add anything to what has been said here, Tom, except to wish you and Myra the best in this very difficult time. I brought my aunt up here from NC six years ago, when she was 90, to an assisted living facility. Fortunately, she could afford it and today is still doing very well and is happy. But she basically hated me for the first six months because I wouldn't let her go home. It was bad, but I never doubted my decision. Don't doubt yours!

 

Barbara and I have put three parents into the nursing home now. It is never easy, but it reaches a point that it is the right thing to do. Brothers and sisters who disagree with the descision can be given the option of taking the parent home and giving it a try themselves.

Try to be patient with them. These siblings have not been around and don't understand how bad the situation is. It is easy to get angry at them for not dealing with it, but thinking they can tell you what to do. I had a good relationship with all the sibilings involved in my family so it wasn't too hard for me. But there would still be moments where brothers and sisters who were too busy to walk across the street to see mom and dad couldn't understand why we were not able to handle the whole thing in an afternnon. In a way, I think these "far away" children have their own feelings of guilt and this is their way of dealing with it. They cannot admit to themselves that they have left their borther or sister with such a huge daily burden so that they can enjoy their lives.

When push comes to shove here, you can move the court to have your wife appointed conservator or gaurdian and just make descisions without the input of the siblings.

Hang in there. Don't bring dad home. You are on the right course.

 

My heart goes out to you Tommy this I beleive is every adult childs worst nightmare and unfortunately most of us will deal with it in our lifetime.

I have had to deal with dimentia only for a short period of time in my life so far. The first was after my wife had her liver transplant and the massive amount of steroids they gave her for rejection made her confused and such. This lasted for only about a week but it was very scary even when I knew it would only be temporary.

The second time was after my Dad's stroke last year again it only lasted for a few months then faded but we didn't know at the time how long or if it would ever get better.

Have faith and stay strong time heals all things.

 

Thanks for the well wishes & to those that sent PM's. The comments are helpful, just to hear others stating what they've seen or done.

We are still moving in the direction of him not coming home even though another nursing home said no today. I'll give an update tomorrow, again therapy for me.

 

tommyra,
My dad is 79 and is at the beginning stages of this. He turned left in front of an oncoming car and totaled his car. His wife was lucky and only had bruises. He gets angry because he can't remember things. His wife tells me it is getting worse. and he couldn't find the bed. I am going to print this thread out and show it to him. Maybe it will help him face what's coming and he will look for a place while he still can.

Thanks for putting this thread out.

 

Sorry to hear of misfortunes of those with loved ones with Alzhiemers disease. Although I do not have a family member with that terrible disease, I work with such patients on a daily basis at a short term hospital. I am amazed at some of these patients that have no family what so ever. They are at the mercy of whoever happens to be their care giver at the moment. Be thankful for family if you have one.