DNR
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From: Arlington, VA
I'm still mulling over whether to add the +1 to my POA. I think it would be more difficult for a spouse/SO to make the decision. Not that it's easy for a family member, either. 
We've talked about it, since he's doing his documents now.
EDIT - The dad was right, Lainey. The recommendation is to choose someone younger so the chances that person will be around to execute the wishes are greater. The +1 asked me about being the POA/executor, but I told him I'm older than he is, so probably not a great idea. He seems to have worked it out with his younger sister.
We've talked about it, since he's doing his documents now.EDIT - The dad was right, Lainey. The recommendation is to choose someone younger so the chances that person will be around to execute the wishes are greater. The +1 asked me about being the POA/executor, but I told him I'm older than he is, so probably not a great idea. He seems to have worked it out with his younger sister.
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From: Smalltown
Wasn't my Dad, but it was a man who knew what he was doing. He had three children. The eldest would have been a fine choice, as was the youngest. The middle child (the one who complained) would have not had the diplomacy a decision maker should have in order to communicate with the other siblings when decisions were necessary. Can you say control freak?
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From: Myrtle Beach, SC
Originally Posted by Kyras,Dec 16 2008, 11:18 AM
I'm sorry you lost your mom. 
I'm glad she took matters into her own hands, for you. I have the opinion that when someone is on death's door, like she was, they are out of body, and watching over the scene. Sometimes they can move a muscle still.
I was with my dad last September, as he lay on death's door, eyes open, staring into space. I held his hand and talked to him, telling him that I loved him, what a good dad he was, and that it was okay for him to go to the other side. I believe he squeezed my hand back to let me know he "got it", even though his glazed eyes never changed. He died within 48 hours, like the Assisted Living nurse predicted he would.
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From: Medina, OH
My late wife and I both had DNR's and POA's. It was not necessary to use either for her but I would have without a bit of regret. I watched this woman suffer for 25 years and in the end listened to her cry about wanting to die. I promised her with all my heart that she would not be put in a nursing home nor would I let anyone prolong her life just so she could suffer more.
My kids and I were with her when she passed away so it was not necessary for me to choose and I don't envy anyone that has to choose but 25 years hardened my resolve to do what had to be done if needed and I know that my children feel the same way.
I have made my wish well know to my children and if I am unable to perform the task myself I expect them to help me and I am sure they will.
Mns2k, I am sorry for your loss but I believe that your mother is in a better place.
My kids and I were with her when she passed away so it was not necessary for me to choose and I don't envy anyone that has to choose but 25 years hardened my resolve to do what had to be done if needed and I know that my children feel the same way.
I have made my wish well know to my children and if I am unable to perform the task myself I expect them to help me and I am sure they will.
Mns2k, I am sorry for your loss but I believe that your mother is in a better place.
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From: Napa
Ms. P, I am curious if your +1 would have some sayso even if not on your POA for Health Care. Does a spouse override a child, even if the child is named?
I am child #3 but am the responsible one. It's not an enviable decision. I had to direct the skilled nursing care facility last January in my Father's last days. They were very cooperative, and did not make any demands at all. I knew my Dad was ready as he told me several times he "wanted out".
My Mom is considering marrying again, (at 81, jeez) so I need to see a lawyer to find out if I need to redo her POA, post vows.
I am child #3 but am the responsible one. It's not an enviable decision. I had to direct the skilled nursing care facility last January in my Father's last days. They were very cooperative, and did not make any demands at all. I knew my Dad was ready as he told me several times he "wanted out".
My Mom is considering marrying again, (at 81, jeez) so I need to see a lawyer to find out if I need to redo her POA, post vows.
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From: Arlington, VA
^ I don't know, but I would say maybe. That is why it's important that the family know the person's wishes, so there is no fight in the end. Your attorney would be able to advise you correctly. In my case, we are not married, so I'd want to be specific.
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From: Denton, Texas
Appreciate all the kind words.
It is interesting to see those that have gone through this process and know that, while it is seems easy to say the words DNR, it is much harder to execute.
Dan
It is interesting to see those that have gone through this process and know that, while it is seems easy to say the words DNR, it is much harder to execute.
Dan