I have always worked and been fairly successful, and gotten satisfaction from working for the most part. But I think it's true that men are defined more by their work than women are. Women are defined more by their relationships and worry more about finding a balance in their lives. Perhaps because they have to - more of the responsibilities at home still fall on them. No?

 

Job #1-- work to live; job #2 -- live to work.

 

Well, I retired 5 years ago from working outside the home to live so that I could pursue other goals and hopefully then live to work. I find that I work much harder physically now -- housework, yardwork, etc. and I seem to stay much busier. I enjoy my days far more now that I do more creative things (cooking, pottery, flower gardening, writing, painting, etc.) and it seems that I derive a lot more pleasure from these things. When I first retired I really missed the social aspects of working, but I quickly filled that need with clubs and civic organizations. I agree with Ms Perky. I find myself more and more often describing myself by my relationship with +1. Wife and mother defines me more than any career pursuits I had.

 

I used to live to work, but over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that I do not need to work in order to be who I am. I think that may be due to the upheavals that have occured in my professional life, and the lack of loyalty that companies are exhibiting towards their employees. While I continue to strive for excellence in my job, and continue to improve my skills and knowledge, I think that if I was financially able to retire right now (at 52) I would not hesitate to do so.

I have too many hobbies and interests as it is, perhaps many more than I could ever hope satisfy, but if I was able to devote all of my time to them I would still be a happy man. Some of this attitude is caused by the sacrifices my wife and I made while raising our two children and dealing with the medical problems they had, some is because I'm simply tired of dealing with the day-to-day BS that happens at work. I'm ready to enjoy the rest of my life to the fullest extent. Working for a living is to me a necessity, not a pleasure.

 

We also work due to necessity. While there are some aspects of our jobs we may enjoy, more often than not, we'd rather not be working, or maybe it's that we would rather not be working at the jobs we have.
BUT, since we need to save for retirement, and since health insurance is such an issue.....off to work we go!

 

In general, I will make further comment soon on my "Downsized" thread....

 

I think I may have a unique perspective on this. I'm just not sure what it is. . I recently turned over day-to-day operations of my firm to my partner. So I have plenty of time to pursue the ZERO hobbies that I have. To answer Rob's question more specifically, for me anyway, I always defined myself as 1) Husband, 2) Father 3) Boss/Employer. 2 out of 3 are gone. . For someone who defines themselves very specifically by these things, this change is quite the upheaval. Having said all this, I look forward (with some anxiety) to seeing "what's next". I've caught brief (very brief) glimpses of what my future CAN be. And I like. My advice would be to NOT define yourself by your work. Don't live to work, unless, as Rick said, you love it, in which case it's just as good as a hobby. For those who are interested, there is a good book on this subject called "Do What You Are" by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron-Tieger. btw, I found this book right next to my Beer for Dummies book.

 

Tell us more.... There is a lot more meat in this topic, Car Man

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by paS2K

 

I'm not sure about this...or at least I think I have had a different experience in my personal life. My last two girlfriends have been SIGNIFICANTLY defined by their work. It defined success and stability and happiness in their lives. For me, balance in my life has always been paramount. I bust my butt when I'm working, but you won't find me typically hanging out in the office just to be able to punch the time clock for 40 hours in a week if I don't need to.

I think that on the whole in our society, however, that your observation could be correct...