IMHO I believe that part of the problem with many marriages in the late 20th and into the 21st Century is related to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory . Back when couples had to rely on each other for survival (food, shelter, water, and the need for affection) it created a bond that made it work.

We know a couple that is a good example of this. She could not understand why he needed to buy a $2K target gun, and he could not understand why she needed to hire someone to break up a perfectly good side walk and put in a slate walk way for about the same amount of money.

IMHO many couples today do not have enough strife in their life to hold them together. If they had to depend on each other for survival it would change the picture. With that stated: In today's world, finances could be that catalyst. It may not be economically feasible to divorce.

 

^^ Matt this goes to the "women have more choices" comment made earlier in the thread. With women's salaries, job options, etc. being on a similar grade to men's, we no longer have to "put up" with whatever a man wants to dish out. Men in modern marriages are assuming more of the duties that were traditionally "women's work" as well. I earned more than my first husband did and worked longer hours yet he assumed no responsibility for any of the housework, laundry, yardwork, etc. It grated, ie, it caused strife. That strife lead to bitterness and the bitterness led to infidelity on his part which led to a trip to an attorney's office for me. I felt my value as a woman was only one step above the family dog.
Sometimes (maybe more than I know), certain men have a sense of entitlement due to their maleness and feel that women are the lesser sex. This was something that often prevailed in years past. I think that attitude is changing but still has quite a way to go. Certain religions hold these long standing "rules" about women, but that too is becoming softer. I am quite fortunate to be in a relationship where these thoughts and ideas do not prevail. However, should this relationship cease for whatever reason, I seriously doubt I would be inclined to entangle myself in a permanent situation with anyone again unless a very strong prenup was in place ahead of time.

 

We have a long understanding that works for us particularly with regard to finance. Twice a year I can say no with no discussion, argument, tears, or withholding of affection (although that last part varies from time to time).

It's hard for me to say no anytime but at least I get to pick my battles.

 

So, like, you count and mark it on an official calendar or something? Does she have her own payback calendar? HPH

 

Nope. I'm on my own to remember and I don't think they roll over.

 

I would imagine you have difficult ever saying no to such a beautiful and sweet lady anyway.