It may come as a shock to some people what I am about to say. I don't golf!
There I said it, I've come out of the closet, my dirty little secret is exposed!
I do not spend my spare time chasing a little white ball around a big green field.

It is just something that I find uninteresting. A few years ago my wife bought me driving lessons for my birthday. These were of the golf variety not the car variety but she has said I could use a refresher in the latter as well.

I have this bad habit of not using my turn signals. I am not sure why I have an aversion to blinking lights. I am working on it and my wife has noticed some improvement mainly because of sideseat driving. Some people don't seem to mind me not signaling and give me a little wave. I find it a bit odd they only use one finger though!

I showed up for the driving lessons with a couple clubs and no idea how to hit the ball properly. I don't know much about golf but I do know they are very hard and really hurt when they hit you in the head.

I learned this the hard way (like there is no other kind of way). When I was ten or eleven I found a old golf ball on my school grounds and bounced it a few times to see how high it would go. And did it go!
As I was young and my brain was not fully engaged yet, I decided to huck it at a brickwall about 20 feet away-as hard as I could. I remember throwing the ball, seeing a bright light and then looking up at the sky as I lay on the ground. The ball bounced off the wall with serious velocity and smacked me between the eyes, literally. I had knot on my noggin that looked like I was growing a second nose.
Needless to say I never threw a golf ball at a wall ever again.

The golf professor/coach showed me how to hold the club and some basics about the swing. I took the first ball from the bucket and set it on the little wooden thing and swung with all my might remembering all I had been taught.
It was a spectacular shot. My first time hitting a ball after my extensive 10 minute instruction and I smoked it big time.
That sucker was going, going, gone. Tiger Woods, look out.
Feeling rather cocky, I hit another ball and this one easily went 150 yards. The problem was, it went 100 yards down the field and 50 yards to the side.
The next few shots yeilded the same results. I could have shot around a building my slice was so bad.I did a few more sessions and showed some improvement but I never did play an actual game of this popular past time. Just as well, because when I hit the ball there is not telling where it will end up.

 

Loved your post, your stories are entertaining as heck.

Golf I it, but admit its not for everyone. As far as chasing a little white ball around I prefer to call it relaxation.

 

 

Don't feel bad. I have never had any interest in pasture pool, either.

 

I've been known to chase a ball or two.

you either enjoy challenging yourself or you don't.
Ironically golf allowed me to see myself for who I am.
A type-A obsessive compulsive competitor.

 

I love golf and am helping coach it at our school this year. Shot the best 9 holes of my life last Friday.

 

When I am around golf players - and since I am in sales - I am around them a lot - I tell them I'm too young to play golf. I'll take it up when I'm 70 like my father did.

It is a pseudo sport at best - and to me about as interesting as watching grass grow. And I live in AZ, so the grass doesn't grow that fast.

 

I have played golf five times in my life. The first time as a teenager I shot 72 for nine holes with my female cousin. The second time was in my early twenties and I shot a 102 for 18 holes. The third time I was in a best ball outing and I had to play a hole with Ray Floyd (the Golfing Legend) That was stressful. The hole at Avennel was hitting over water. I never thought that I would make it, but I did. But it was NOT relaxing by any means. But about ten years ago I played nine holes with two female friends.

This is classic example of how cruel golf can be. Remember nine holes:

First hole: Four over par
Second hole: Three over par
Third hole: Two over par
Forth hole: One over par
Fifth hole: Par (I think that I am getting the hang of this after not playing for years)
Sixth hole: One over par
Seven hole: Two over par
Eighth hole: Three over par
Ninth hole: Four over par

The last time that I played I was corralled into it by my Manager at a company outing. It was a best ball outing and I lost so many balls that I decided that I could not afford to play golf. Nor did I find it enjoyable. There are lots of other ways that I would rather spend time frustrating myself. Like a track day. But unfortunately, my track days have come to an end now that Summit Point requires an approved roll bar now that our stock roll hoops are no longer acceptable.

I think that I would rather spend my relaxing hours either driving my S for excitement or flying upside down in an aircraft of some sort.

 

Matt you bring out an interesting point about golf.
People think they should be able to just go out and golf.
Imagine if some one tossed you the keys to a car without any driver training.
Then think of the same situation and your in Friday afternoon traffic in a major city.
it's not very likely that the outcome would be good.

Same thing with skiing.
Imagine getting dropped on a black diamond trail for your first run.

It can be fun but creating a situation where your trying to avoid failure without any prep would be stressful.