^ Not sure about GA, but VA is a community property state, meaning basically a 50/50 split of the marital assets. Did she get that? I personally don't believe in alimony.

 

California is a community property state too, where the assets accumulated during marriage are supposed to be divided 50/50. I don't know how alimony works. If there are kids involved I guess that $ is called child support.

So based on a person leaving for purely selfish reasons ...I don't think this person should have to support the other one in the custom they are used to, indefinitely or until a remarriage. But they shouldn't be able to walk of scott-free either.

I know if my husband left me for another woman, I could never come close to making the $ I'm used to, but I would get half of what he's worked for over the last 20+ years, while I was home with the kids for 18 years of it. I could not get hired as a Flight Test Engineer again, now that I've been out of it so long. It would seem like he should give me some $$ for a time, but not forever.


I guess that's what makes this a controversy. There's no cut and dry answer for me.

 

I Street Encounters. I think street encounters are dangerous and risk lives of people who have nothing to do with the encounters. Too often, I'll be driving on the freeway at the flow of traffic, in the high 70s, and I'll see some jackasses flying up in my rearview mirror, weaving in and out of cars, doing 100 MPH or more. Scares the $hit out of me. They have no idea of what's ahead of them, like the little old man, doing 50mph. I don't know if they are in a road rage thing or just racing, but it's dangerous.

Flts, some of the topics in here I don't care about and a few other ones, I have a strong opinion on, and I don't want to say what I really think because I can't word it nicely. I don't want to make any enemies. Do you think guys can disagree easier with no hard feelings, than women? I notice uppitychick, rjosey and MsPerky play in here, but it's mostly men.

 

Yes I agree with you regarding busy traffic and foolish drivers. But there's still a time and place that shows up out there once in awhile.

Regarding guys disagreeing easier with no hard feelings, that's a vintage thing, we're all secure in our testosterone.

With women I have noticed, regardless of vintage, a cat fight is still a cat fight.



Is there controversy here?

fltsfshr

 

I knew this topic would get you chicks back in here! You just left me in here alone with all this testosterone!

I always had opinions about this but have not experienced it first-hand. I still have not experienced it, but am seeing the reality of it through my friend. Linesuper, I agree, no justice at all.

I always thought, hey I get half of everything, I'll be fine. But it is not at all like it sounds. You won't be fine. You get half of the bills, and if you can't make the same money, you have to sell everything and start over. That would be hard to do, especially when you are 50 and now will never retire. Meanwhile, he is buying a new house with his girlfriend, they both have new cars, she quit work, they are going on vacations, etc.

Basically, he wanted a young hot woman and is living it up, and ex-wife is struggling to make it. All because he just wasn't happy.

She took care of the kids, worked while he went to school and he did not want her to have a job outside of the house. So she didn't. Now he says all the money is his, he worked for it. (of course, you know, I believe differently). He told her in front of me "get off your fat a$$ and get a job"!

I am starting to really understand why a woman would kill her husband (I AM NOT SUGGESTING YOU DO THIS!) It would be so much easier.

 

[quote name='Kyras' date='Feb 13 2005, 07:13 PM'] I've finally come to what should have been an obvious, to me, conclusion.

 

This is interesting, Patty. For me it's all about the tone of a conversation. If people are civil and not being nasty or condescending, then I love talking about controversial subjects. If the tone starts to deteriorate, I can't tolerate.

I, too, have a background in a house filled with yelling with me occasionally acting as a shield or as a placater (sp?). I think I know exactly what you're saying.

However, that said, it's not my nature to lurk without at least chiming in with my opinion. Of course, as CO, it's occasionally necessary for me to slam down hard, but as you all know, I avoid that if possible.

 

Uppity, if your friend was in No Cal I know attorneys that would hand your friend her x-husband's nuts on a plate. He wouldn't have a pot to pee in after they got thorough with him. I exaggerate, but not much. My experience in dealing with divorced clients over the years is the one with the best attorney wins. She would have a hell of a case.

 

I wrote this an hour ago but my Adelphia connection was down. Lucky for me I copied it into word since the site was misbehaving too at the time.

Betsy, you've done a fine job with all that testosterone. I don't have what it takes to do it.

I've experienced this divorce/alimony thing from the kid's point of view. But then we have a best friend (the best man in our wedding) who almost got divorced from his cheating wife, but is now giving her another chance. In my mom's case, she got alimony from her first husband, and then half of my dad's worth when they divorced too (her 2nd husband). She went to work but walked into a new condo and got property. I thought she did alright at the time, but she didn't agree.

We think our friend shouldn't have to support his cheating wife but he was told by the court, he would. She wasn't going to get much money and would have needed to get a job, so she pleaded her way back into his house and got him to put a hold on the divorce. We don't think it'll last more than a year before he sees she's still a conniving, selfish cheater. They have a 14 year-old so he's trying to make a go of it for her.

 

I learned this too. It's amazing how things have changed. Now days one can get arrested for what our parents did to us. When I was a kid, whoever did the dishes got to sit at the end of the table, farthest away possible from my dad. I decided I liked to do the dishes. He couldn't reach me.

I'm still unlearning the lessons of my upbringing, like how to voice an opinion.