How about a controversial thread?
Don't get me wrong, I am not always on the woman's side. It just depends on the situation. If the woman leaves the man, and she leaves him in a lurch, then she should pay. Hubby has an Ex and she left him and their kids for another man. Kids were 4, 5, 5, and 11. She moved on and married this other man. (She's a real winner). Then he and I met. We had all the kids with us. She decided she did not like him marrying and so she sued for custody and WON. So, we paid (I say "we", because I had to work to pay it, too, because it was a huge sum) for years and years. She would sue us every 2 years for more and would get it. The court system sometimes does not make sense. I see no justice.
So, I guess, whoever leaves the other (that is not mutual), I figure they should have some sort of accountability legally. The only consolation seems to be that it usually works itself out in a "you reap what you sew" event.
So, I guess, whoever leaves the other (that is not mutual), I figure they should have some sort of accountability legally. The only consolation seems to be that it usually works itself out in a "you reap what you sew" event.
I have opinions and occasionally enjoy expressing them. However, I've discovered that if my opinion differs from others, sometimes the attitude just gets a bit too rude and/or ugly for me. I've decided that I will not participate in matters of controversy any longer. Suffice it to say, if you want my opinion, feel free to pm and ask me. Otherwise, I find that I enjoy my online experience much more when I stay out of controversial issues.
Regarding marriage and money.
When my youngest got married we sat both he and his bride down. Basicallly this is what we told them.
If there ever was a time to get a prenuptual agreement it's now when you both love each other. That way should you ever part, you don't have to go through what many people do and you have the satisfaction of knowing the agreement is and that it was composed with love and good legal advice.
I don't know what they wrote, but I do know they wrote one.
fltsfshr
When my youngest got married we sat both he and his bride down. Basicallly this is what we told them.
If there ever was a time to get a prenuptual agreement it's now when you both love each other. That way should you ever part, you don't have to go through what many people do and you have the satisfaction of knowing the agreement is and that it was composed with love and good legal advice.
I don't know what they wrote, but I do know they wrote one.
fltsfshr
I've not been following this thread closely today because I've been quite busy at work, but just to inject a thought, it is of the utmost importance that the parties involved in a divorce get both competent lawyers and accountants on their side as soon as is possible. It is critical that these professionals be experienced in divorce.
There are costs, and expenses that come up both during and after the divorce that only experienced professionals are familiar with but that the parties involved in the divorce need to be made aware of. What good, for example is the woman's claim to the house if she doesn't have the cashflow to support it. If the woman gets the house and the man gets the money (even considerably less money) the woman is typically worse off. This is just one of many examples. Additionally, people involved generally lose sight of the future, and revenge becomes as important, if not more so, than good financial sense.
Typically and historically, the woman has fared much worse. It is especially important that the woman get the necessary professional legal and accounting help.
Hopefully, no one any of us knows will go through the trauma of divorce, but if they do, they must hire competent professionals.
There are costs, and expenses that come up both during and after the divorce that only experienced professionals are familiar with but that the parties involved in the divorce need to be made aware of. What good, for example is the woman's claim to the house if she doesn't have the cashflow to support it. If the woman gets the house and the man gets the money (even considerably less money) the woman is typically worse off. This is just one of many examples. Additionally, people involved generally lose sight of the future, and revenge becomes as important, if not more so, than good financial sense.
Typically and historically, the woman has fared much worse. It is especially important that the woman get the necessary professional legal and accounting help.
Hopefully, no one any of us knows will go through the trauma of divorce, but if they do, they must hire competent professionals.
Flts post on pre-nups made me think--how many here have an updated will? I don't plan on "departing" anytime soon, but the drunk driving down the road may other ideas...
On another note--I am very disheartened to hear that some who have posted on the controversy thread are now going to lurk. Bummer.
On another note--I am very disheartened to hear that some who have posted on the controversy thread are now going to lurk. Bummer.
You are so right. That is exactly the situation she is in. Too late for competent lawyer, divorce is final. Thought she had a good attorney, but turned out not to be. But, how would you know until it is too late?
I am now of the opinion that the best thing to do is to call Tony Soprano
I am now of the opinion that the best thing to do is to call Tony Soprano
Originally Posted by uppitychick' date='Feb 14 2005, 05:10 PM
You are so right. That is exactly the situation she is in. Too late for competent lawyer, divorce is final. Thought she had a good attorney, but turned out not to be. But, how would you know until it is too late?
I am now of the opinion that the best thing to do is to call Tony Soprano
I am now of the opinion that the best thing to do is to call Tony Soprano

There are simply too many nuances and things to know about divorce to trust it to anyone without specialized experienced.
Unfortunately, too many things involved in divorce have effects lasting long into the future. As cold and hard as this might sound, this is especially the time when the parties involved need to be able to take a very cold, hard, businesslike stance. I don't think that is possible without experienced professionals at your side.








