boltonblue

Mike was teeing off from the back tees. On his down-swing, he suddenly realized that his wife, Sue, was about to tee off from the red tees, directly in his path. Unable to stop his down swing he nailed the ball, hit Sue directly in the right temple, killing her instantly.

A few days later Mike received a call from the coroner concerning her autopsy . 'Mike, your wife seems to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and struck her in the temple. Is that correct?'

'Yes sir,' Mike replied, 'that's correct.'

'Well, Mike, I also found a large bruise on Sue's right hip. Do you know anything about that?'

'Yes sir,' Mike said, 'That would be my mulligan.'

dlq04

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old
man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff legged and walking
slowly. One of the students said to his friend, 'I'm sure the poor old man
has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.'

The other student said, 'No, I don't think so. The old man surely has
Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his are legs apart just as we
learned in class.'

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached
him and one of the students said to him, 'We're medical students and
couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the
syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?'

The old man said, 'I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you two
fine medical students think.'

One of the students said, 'I think it's Petry Syndrome.'

The old man said, 'You thought... but you are wrong.'

Then the other student said, 'I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.'

The old man said, 'You thought...... but you are also wrong.'

So they asked him, 'Well, old timer, what do you have?'

The old man said, 'I thought it was GAS........... but I was wrong.'

NNY S2k

Tadashi

Gambled and lost

Scooterboy

That would be considered an "Electric Fart" That would be one with a little juice in it!

DrCloud

One advantage to having personal preferences set to 100 posts per page (or whatever I've got) is that I've been seeing at the top of this last page the mental hospital joke for months ("13..13...13... ...14...14...14).

It still cracks me up. HPH

UmarS2K

Two hicks met on a dusty, country road. One of them was carrying a big bag labeled 'chickens.'
"Chickens, eh?" asked one hick. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you have, will you give me one?"

"Heck," replied the hick with the bag. "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

"Um... Five?"

dlq04

Me too.

Matt_in_VA

Senior questions

Q: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find

NNervous_R

A Man with 6 kids