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Joke of the Day Part III Vintage Style

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Joke of the Day Part III Vintage Style

Old 01-03-2019, 05:09 PM
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At breakfast, the man asked his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

She replied, "I'd take half, and then leave you."
"Great, “he said. "I won $12 yesterday. Here's $6. Stay in touch."
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Old 01-04-2019, 01:35 PM
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Well, what do I look like?

One day a husband comes home from work. His wife greets him and says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"

The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"

A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, my car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"
Husband says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"

Another few days go by, and it's raining hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof.She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"

The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car.He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says."Great! What did he charge?" he says."Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him."

Cheeky! Well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband.

"What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
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