LA area folks I need some special help.
03-25-2019, 08:54 PM
#11
Jerry MA-
I was contacted by Roseanne who is west of LAX and may be able to help. I guess she is not on s2ki and cannot PM with you. She messaged me on FB after a note from Gene, but got the "Jerrys" mixed up. She has seen the info on this thread. I don't have a phone number, but you can email her. Will PM that info to you....she doesn't want it posted. Now to figure out how to PM....it's been a while.
Good luck with this....we have had some issues like this in our extended family.
Jerry PA (paS2K)
I was contacted by Roseanne who is west of LAX and may be able to help. I guess she is not on s2ki and cannot PM with you. She messaged me on FB after a note from Gene, but got the "Jerrys" mixed up. She has seen the info on this thread. I don't have a phone number, but you can email her. Will PM that info to you....she doesn't want it posted. Now to figure out how to PM....it's been a while.
Good luck with this....we have had some issues like this in our extended family.
Jerry PA (paS2K)
03-26-2019, 01:13 AM
#12
Would an individual be better than a mental health organization out there to help find and assist him? Just thinking out loud. I suppose it could be a trust issue on his/your part to get such an organization involved, but it seems there might be more resources there. You don't have to answer. Best of luck. Has to be tough. 
Last edited by MsPerky; 03-26-2019 at 01:23 AM.
03-26-2019, 02:56 AM
#14
Thread Starter
Deb, it's is tough to take the mental health services path, in his view there is "nothing wrong."
I did actually think of exploring other social services this morning however.
I did actually think of exploring other social services this morning however.
03-26-2019, 03:05 AM
#15
^ Yes, I figured that could be the issue. Social services do cast a wide net, which could be very useful in this case where you are unsure where he is. They would certainly know the areas where he is more likely to be hanging out. I hope whatever you decide has a positive result.
03-26-2019, 04:01 AM
#16
Tough story. Our thoughts are with you, Jerry.
03-26-2019, 06:06 AM
#18
Thread Starter
To be honest I vacillate between taking the post down and with talking about it.
First I'll say, Well at least it's not Nepal this time. Seriously as in Katmandu. Himalayas. Everest. K2.
But at least he had his cell phone and passport then.
We have been fighting with this for 9 years. As I glance at the calendar, almost to the day.
I've learned patience through the whole process.
A lot of folks echo the sentiment " I don't know how you do it!"
The answer is pretty simple, it is the only thing i know how to do. It's my kid. I have to do it.
I'm not aware of any other options other than walking away from it, and that just ain't gonna happen.
Sometimes being a thick headed buffoon has it merits.
I've lost track of ow much spent in legal expenses wrestling with "the system."
He's an adult. HIPAA ties your hands like you wouldn't believe.
Other 'patient rights' designed in the 70's and 80's when you could get locked away for being gay make things even more challenging.
When you know a patient has been brought to a hospital but they won't acknowledge that they are there.
The irony is, they are there because it is believed they are mentally incompetent.
The staff won't talk to you until the mentally incompetent patient signs the legal document saying it is ok to do so.
A patient can't be committed against their will except for extraordinary circumstances.
They are an imminent danger to themselves, as in, "please step away from the roof edge" or "please put down the gun..."
They are an imminent danger to others, making threats or brandishing a weapon. Frequently and sadly, this one does not end with mental care.
The are utterly incapable of caring for themselves.
The fist two typically can be handled by police as an on the spot call, rarely the latter.
For the third case you have to petition the courts. Sometimes ( rarely) you can get an emergency declaration.
Otherwise you have to have a valid psychiatric evaluation form within 30 days to petition.
The court will issue a notification of hearing with a 30 day notice which a sheriff will deliver.
At the hearing you must present another new evaluation which is also less than 30 days old because eh original aged out during the notification period.
Meanwhile all the patient has to do is not cooperate with the evaluation process and you can't get them committed.
In the interim you are paying for lawyers and doctors. ( insert sound of old gas pumps dinging like crazy) it's nucking futz.
So Paul, I don't have a sense of urgency. it will play out as it will but thank you for the thoughts.
and Mike, you know what they say about icebergs right?
Sometimes it's a tough call, Is he just being an A-hole, or is this the mental illness.
On the upside, we have it pretty good.
Our son isn't violent. We live in a small community. He was an EMT in high school so he knows all of the cops.
As his parents, we are married and have a stable home.
We both have good incomes and insurance plans so we have significant resources to bring to bear and a stable platform to fight from.
And then there is the other extreme.
poor families with one bread winner or one parent, who only has a part time job with no insurance.
feeding heir family is a challenge. a roof is optional.
or worse, on their own, no home. no one to advocate or fight for them. they just wander the streets until they die or wind up in jail.
First I'll say, Well at least it's not Nepal this time. Seriously as in Katmandu. Himalayas. Everest. K2.
But at least he had his cell phone and passport then.
We have been fighting with this for 9 years. As I glance at the calendar, almost to the day.
I've learned patience through the whole process.
A lot of folks echo the sentiment " I don't know how you do it!"
The answer is pretty simple, it is the only thing i know how to do. It's my kid. I have to do it.
I'm not aware of any other options other than walking away from it, and that just ain't gonna happen.
Sometimes being a thick headed buffoon has it merits.
I've lost track of ow much spent in legal expenses wrestling with "the system."
He's an adult. HIPAA ties your hands like you wouldn't believe.
Other 'patient rights' designed in the 70's and 80's when you could get locked away for being gay make things even more challenging.
When you know a patient has been brought to a hospital but they won't acknowledge that they are there.
The irony is, they are there because it is believed they are mentally incompetent.
The staff won't talk to you until the mentally incompetent patient signs the legal document saying it is ok to do so.
A patient can't be committed against their will except for extraordinary circumstances.
They are an imminent danger to themselves, as in, "please step away from the roof edge" or "please put down the gun..."
They are an imminent danger to others, making threats or brandishing a weapon. Frequently and sadly, this one does not end with mental care.
The are utterly incapable of caring for themselves.
The fist two typically can be handled by police as an on the spot call, rarely the latter.
For the third case you have to petition the courts. Sometimes ( rarely) you can get an emergency declaration.
Otherwise you have to have a valid psychiatric evaluation form within 30 days to petition.
The court will issue a notification of hearing with a 30 day notice which a sheriff will deliver.
At the hearing you must present another new evaluation which is also less than 30 days old because eh original aged out during the notification period.
Meanwhile all the patient has to do is not cooperate with the evaluation process and you can't get them committed.
In the interim you are paying for lawyers and doctors. ( insert sound of old gas pumps dinging like crazy) it's nucking futz.
So Paul, I don't have a sense of urgency. it will play out as it will but thank you for the thoughts.
and Mike, you know what they say about icebergs right?
Sometimes it's a tough call, Is he just being an A-hole, or is this the mental illness.
On the upside, we have it pretty good.
Our son isn't violent. We live in a small community. He was an EMT in high school so he knows all of the cops.
As his parents, we are married and have a stable home.
We both have good incomes and insurance plans so we have significant resources to bring to bear and a stable platform to fight from.
And then there is the other extreme.
poor families with one bread winner or one parent, who only has a part time job with no insurance.
feeding heir family is a challenge. a roof is optional.
or worse, on their own, no home. no one to advocate or fight for them. they just wander the streets until they die or wind up in jail.
03-26-2019, 06:07 AM
#19
Hope all works out okay, for you and your son.
03-26-2019, 07:47 AM
#20
Best of luck to the whole family. Sorry Jerry.