Who's Responsible For Your Feelings?
03-01-2004, 06:39 PM
#11
[QUOTE]Originally posted by matrix
Not sure if I agree with that statement...I do believe others have an influence in how you feel, you can control your reaction but your feelings my be completely different than what your reaction my be because you thought about it.
Feelings are a complex chemical reaction which I don't think we have complete control over.
Not sure if I agree with that statement...I do believe others have an influence in how you feel, you can control your reaction but your feelings my be completely different than what your reaction my be because you thought about it.
Feelings are a complex chemical reaction which I don't think we have complete control over.
03-01-2004, 06:49 PM
#12
[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonasM
03-01-2004, 09:01 PM
#13
[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonasM
Sorry, but I completely agree with that opinion. I can't control others, but I'm 100% in control of how I react to them. My life has been far less stressful since I'm (mostly) internalized this. It's a habit that takes time to cultivate, though - just saying 'I won't let that affect me' isn't enough.
Sorry, but I completely agree with that opinion. I can't control others, but I'm 100% in control of how I react to them. My life has been far less stressful since I'm (mostly) internalized this. It's a habit that takes time to cultivate, though - just saying 'I won't let that affect me' isn't enough.
03-02-2004, 03:27 AM
#14
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ralper
In an ideal world, where we'd be in complete control of our environment, that may be very true, but the reality is that oftentimes things cannot change or change quickly.
In an ideal world, where we'd be in complete control of our environment, that may be very true, but the reality is that oftentimes things cannot change or change quickly.
03-02-2004, 03:28 AM
#15
Originally posted by paS2K
I agree with this viewpoint, except that it takes a long time to cultivate that habit.
I agree with this viewpoint, except that it takes a long time to cultivate that habit.
JonasM
03-02-2004, 03:36 AM
#16
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonasM
You see a snake - your automatic feeling is one of fear. Then you notice that it's a simple Green Snake - harmless. Your fear is gone, overridden by your mind.
You see a snake - your automatic feeling is one of fear. Then you notice that it's a simple Green Snake - harmless. Your fear is gone, overridden by your mind.
03-02-2004, 04:45 AM
#18
Well, I've got to agree for the most part with Jonas on this one. There is no question in my mind that optimistic people are happier people overall. The key is to put yourself in healthy situations and take yourself out of those that aren't. You definitely have some control over that. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and get rid of the ones who don't, as least as much as possible. Even family, as painful as that is.
This is the biggest reason I'm no longer with my ex-husband. He is really a very unhappy person, and although we are still friends, I cannot be around him for long. So I'm not.
I get overwhelmed with feelings of anger, hurt, and sadness sometimes just like everyone else. But I do seem to be able to let it go after awhile. Letting go is probably the hardest thing.
This is the biggest reason I'm no longer with my ex-husband. He is really a very unhappy person, and although we are still friends, I cannot be around him for long. So I'm not.
I get overwhelmed with feelings of anger, hurt, and sadness sometimes just like everyone else. But I do seem to be able to let it go after awhile. Letting go is probably the hardest thing.
03-02-2004, 04:54 AM
#19
Registered User
Thread Starter
Great thread. I wonder who started it? 
Jonas, to answer your question, "why does it affect you now...you're out of that situation", I really wasn't referring to my situation at all. I just used the wife example to highlight my point that other people CAN and DO greatly affect your emotions. It can be a boss, a peer, a neighbor, the IRS
etc. Sure, some people are better at keeping an even keel, and focusing on the positives, but I still feel others greatly affect our emotions. We are social animals no?
Anyway, I knew I had some learning on this one so I am pleased with the replies. Looks like a mixed response so far. Hmmm...I'll have to re-read my ISTJ profile again. "Generally an asshole, prone to brooding over being wronged, but likes to drive with the top down in cold weather".
Jonas, to answer your question, "why does it affect you now...you're out of that situation", I really wasn't referring to my situation at all. I just used the wife example to highlight my point that other people CAN and DO greatly affect your emotions. It can be a boss, a peer, a neighbor, the IRS
etc. Sure, some people are better at keeping an even keel, and focusing on the positives, but I still feel others greatly affect our emotions. We are social animals no? Anyway, I knew I had some learning on this one so I am pleased with the replies. Looks like a mixed response so far. Hmmm...I'll have to re-read my ISTJ profile again. "Generally an asshole, prone to brooding over being wronged, but likes to drive with the top down in cold weather".