Vettel ‘should be beaten to death’ rants MossPosted in News by Sniff Petrol on Monday, March 25th, 2013

Sir Stirling Moss, yesterday

Sebastian Vettel is a ‘bloody twat’ and his behaviour in Malaysia was so disgraceful he should be called a little shit to his face and then brutally beaten to death so that all his points can be given to Mark Webber. That’s the surprise verdict of Sir Stirling Moss who became the latest former driver to give his opinion on this weekend’s controversial Grand Prix, speaking in an exclusive telephone interview with Sniff Petrol.

‘Yea, the bloody pointy fingered Kraut bloody wanker should be just bloody killed,’ ranted Moss, whose accent has mysteriously become Australian. ‘They should just get a bunch of blokes from the pub and hunt the little f*cker down and then just beat him and beat him and beat him and beat him and beat him and beat him…’ Sir Stirling continued at an increasingly loud and angry volume.

The respected race ace finally gathered himself together and turned his attentions to Vettel’s team mate Mark Webber. ‘I’m… I mean, Mark is a bloody good bloke,’ Moss said quietly. ‘He’s not the second driver and he should just bloody well get all the points because he’s just bloody well trying to do the best he bloody can,’ the legendary racer concluded, sobbing slightly.

Sniff Petrol was later able to confirm that we were not in fact speaking to Sir Stirling Moss and nor is the 83-year-old motorsport legend now taking ‘some downtime’ to ‘catch a few waves’ on his ‘board’.




http://sniffpetrol.com/2013/03/25/ve...th-rants-moss/

 

"Sniff Petrol was later able to confirm that we were not in fact speaking to Sir Stirling Moss"

I was pretty confused until that point. But I LOL'ed, and I agree.

 

Right, the whole thing is written as if Weber is posing as Moss.


"...ranted Moss, whose accent has mysteriously become Australian."
"I’m… I mean, Mark is a bloody good..."
"...nor is the 83-year-old motorsport legend now taking ‘some downtime’ to ‘catch a few waves’ on his ‘board’."


Really funny, really well done.

 

I was soooo pissed last night being a Mark Webber fan... This is why he is by far my favorite driver! He follows team orders, keeps it professional while still not allowing himself to be pushed around, and he says whats on his mind. I hope Mark decides to stay at Red Bull because i believe that's his best chance to win a championship but I hope that Horner, with the rest of the team, makes it clear to Vettle how big of a f@#k up he is right now and explain to Mark that they are and will be doing everything to give him the best chance. (which i believe they have successfully done so far).

Giving Mark the first upgrades for the next few races wouldn't hurt either, because he is clearly showing how strong of a driver he is this year. I truly do believe that if his ECU did not reset last weekend it would have been a podium finish for him and he would be leading in the points right now.

 

 

this is great. totally stealing it.

 

Lol I did the same thing at the screen right before he did this lol

 

Formula One launches race unfixing probe
26-03-13
F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.

‘Just go round and round for a bit’
Footage of the Malaysian Grand Prix allegedly shows Sebastian Vettel operating his car in the manner of someone trying to win.

The resulting controversy has left everyone not obsessed by Formula One deeply confused.

A Red Bull team spokesman said: “We take allegations of racing extremely seriously.

“Drivers must remember that this is not a sport but a deeply weird and monotonous pre-programmed entertainment experience that is completely incomprehensible to sane people.

“Kind of like Wacky Races but with odder drivers, more ridiculous-looking cars and lots of girls who look like hookers.”

F1 devotee Julian Cook said: “You could clearly see Vettel trying to accelerate past another car in order to make his car go over the finish line first.

“According to the twisted logic of the bizarre quasi-sport that I love for no apparent reason, this is quite unacceptable.

“If it’s proven that Vettel was trying to win, Bernie Ecclestone should have him thrown into a pit of scorpions.

“Although in some of the countries where they do F1 I think that would considered an excessively humane form of punishment.”



http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2013032663802

 

http://thef1poet.wordpress.com/2013/...ther-forecast/


Weather is looking clear for this weekend, we should finally get an idea of what these dudes can do.

 

'Sebastian Vettel admits he was "indirectly" paying back Mark Webber in Malaysia for previous situations between the two drivers and says he would do the same again as his team-mate "didn't deserve" to win.'

Now THERE'S the seb we all know and (don't) love.

http://en.espnf1.com/redbull/motorsp...ry/105092.html