We're out enjoying the sunshine going through the leafy part of town towards the coast road, and coming out of a roundabout I give the throttle the mildest of presses and spring out of the exit quite sharply but remaining at 30mph.

Then I hear "blaaaargh blaaaargh" to my right, and notice some nonce in reflective overalls. It's a lollipop man, and I know exactly what he said without having heard him. I turn back and stop to speak to him.

Me: "What's up?"
Mr Grumpy: "I was shouting for you to slow down, you were going too fast"
Me: "Oh really, so you've got a speed camera in your lollipop do you?"
Mr Grumpy: "No, I don't have any speed measuring equipment, but you were going more than 30"
Me:"Funny that, I've got a digital speedo and it didn't read above 30 throughout the whole roundabout"
Mr Grumpy: "Oh, it doesn't matter if you've got a digital speedo because you were going too fast"
Me:"But if you have no speed equipment how do you know what speed I was doing?"
Mr Grumpy: "Because you were, now if you do it again I'll report you", {before turning his head to indicate he's had enough}
Me: "Yep, report me for doing 30 mate, that's what to do" I say, and head down to the roundabout.

I then do exactly the same manouvre capping my speed to 30 and stick my 3 fingers up to him and shout "thirty" whilst smiling.

What is it with these tools who think they are able to do the same job with their pathetically out of touch sense of speed and reactions as that of a Gatso?

 

I'd have malleted the nosy **** with his lollipop then shoved it lolly end first up his sherrifs badge.

Ed

 

How big is the roundabout? Big enough to do laps?
If so, I'd have gone back with a few mates and held everyone up for 15 mins ..

 

Did you do it in 1st to make more noise too? That always gets 'em

 

So at a patrolled crossing you were doing 30 mph, can see why he got ratty, but at the end of the day that is the speed limit.

So unless he was trying to get you to stop to allow people to cross then you were doing nothing wrong.

 

If you do laps - he could report you for going around the roundabout more than 3 times in row, apparently that is illegal, for some strange reason...

 

And they say you trained killers are "safe" to put back on the streets after active service.

 

Simon - our Parts van driver is one of those - we call him Captain Chaos, you may have seen him about.

 

He's just upset cos he looked like a twat.

 

There was no one there but himself. He was just being a self-riteous c0ck.

Had there been loads of parked cars and kids running around I would have agreed, but the place was deserted and wide open - there wasn't a house or person in sight for miles!