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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Mar 23 2010, 08:19 AM
Love ain't easy. . .
If you love her, and she's entertaining option 1. Help her. . . but get ready for things to get worse before they get better. She might hate you. . . a lot. You're doing the right thing though. Just understand you two might break up as she breaks down.
Get ready to have a roommate, and not a girlfriend. . . or worse.
Just remember, you're doing this because you love her. Don't do this for yourself.
If you love her, and she's entertaining option 1. Help her. . . but get ready for things to get worse before they get better. She might hate you. . . a lot. You're doing the right thing though. Just understand you two might break up as she breaks down.
Get ready to have a roommate, and not a girlfriend. . . or worse.
Just remember, you're doing this because you love her. Don't do this for yourself.
Originally Posted by shareall,Mar 23 2010, 08:37 AM
The first step would be to find out what she views as "help." There are a number of options and you two may not be on the same page. She may want to try AA (and you may want to consider some support from AlAnon), but AA is *not* treatment. Different people have different opinions of AA (and often meetings are part of in-patient treatment), but it's only part of the puzzle. Some people do end up being clean for long periods of time with AA, but my personal feeling is that it sets people up for failure when they "slip" (and they inevitably do). But really, it's her choice...
Detox will probably be in order, especially if she's willing to go to an in-patient program. I'm horribly uneducated when it comes to the options in the US (including payment/insurance/etc.), so finding treatment options might be limited by those factors.
I think, while difficult, it makes sense for you to have given her those choices. As long as she gets away with it, she'll keep doing the things she's been doing. She'll probably appreciate your support (even if she doesn't tell you), but don't let her take advantage. It will be a battle for both of you, but don't let yourself believe for a second that if you end up having to walk away it means you don't care for her.
As always you can PM me. It's a crappy situation, but it sounds like you're on a helpful path.
Detox will probably be in order, especially if she's willing to go to an in-patient program. I'm horribly uneducated when it comes to the options in the US (including payment/insurance/etc.), so finding treatment options might be limited by those factors.
I think, while difficult, it makes sense for you to have given her those choices. As long as she gets away with it, she'll keep doing the things she's been doing. She'll probably appreciate your support (even if she doesn't tell you), but don't let her take advantage. It will be a battle for both of you, but don't let yourself believe for a second that if you end up having to walk away it means you don't care for her.
As always you can PM me. It's a crappy situation, but it sounds like you're on a helpful path.
I know she can't do an inpatient program--she'd have no way to pay for the apartment or anything else while in the program.
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Originally Posted by espelirS2K,Mar 24 2010, 12:46 PM
Yeah--I'm fairly prepared to just walk out. "Fairly"
I was thinking AA--but if you say it's a cop-out, I trust you. I've never been in this situation, so I don't have a CLUE of what to do. We're going to talk to her psychiatrist on Tuesday (pre-scheduled appointment), but I really don't know where or how to get help. Never dealt with this before
I know she can't do an inpatient program--she'd have no way to pay for the apartment or anything else while in the program.
I was thinking AA--but if you say it's a cop-out, I trust you. I've never been in this situation, so I don't have a CLUE of what to do. We're going to talk to her psychiatrist on Tuesday (pre-scheduled appointment), but I really don't know where or how to get help. Never dealt with this before
I know she can't do an inpatient program--she'd have no way to pay for the apartment or anything else while in the program.
There are definitely people (in the field and who have experienced substance use issues) who swear by the 12-step model, but like I said, it's not treatment.
That's great there's already an appointment with her psychiatrist. S/he would probably have a better idea of the options that will fit best with her situation. She should just let the psychiatrist know that she wants help, but doesn't know what's possible. The doc may be an excellent person for this since s/he presumably has some kind of relationship with her and might be able to better assess whether one option would give her more chance of success over another.
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by C U AT 9K,Mar 24 2010, 01:25 PM
Being a California resident, are you supportive of the push to legalize and tax marijuana?
The question is, do we the citizens of California want one of our most prized cash crops actually regulated by the Government? More to the point, do we want the kind of legal structures that could allow big agribusiness interests intruding on what is clearly a small-to-medium sized enterprise. Mexican drug cartels are bad enough, do we want Monsanto manipulating the bud supply too?
Do you think it can make a positive impact for the state, or is it really the lowest of priorities right now?
Without a California Constitutional Convention, pot taxes will suffer the same misappropriation issues as gas taxes.
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Mar 24 2010, 07:03 PM
In general, I don't think pot is that bad. It is a soft drug. That said, the legalization and taxation questions have very little bearing on my opinion of THC's use as a drug (medicinal or recreational).
The question is, do we the citizens of California want one of our most prized cash crops actually regulated by the Government? More to the point, do we want the kind of legal structures that could allow big agribusiness interests intruding on what is clearly a small-to-medium sized enterprise. Mexican drug cartels are bad enough, do we want Monsanto manipulating the bud supply too?
It will NOT make a positive impact for the state. . . actually, it will make things worse. Not because of some lost-generation syndrome that was experienced with The Netherlands, but rather, because we will then have pot tax money to further bicker over on the Assembly floor.
Without a California Constitutional Convention, pot taxes will suffer the same misappropriation issues as gas taxes.
The question is, do we the citizens of California want one of our most prized cash crops actually regulated by the Government? More to the point, do we want the kind of legal structures that could allow big agribusiness interests intruding on what is clearly a small-to-medium sized enterprise. Mexican drug cartels are bad enough, do we want Monsanto manipulating the bud supply too?
It will NOT make a positive impact for the state. . . actually, it will make things worse. Not because of some lost-generation syndrome that was experienced with The Netherlands, but rather, because we will then have pot tax money to further bicker over on the Assembly floor.
Without a California Constitutional Convention, pot taxes will suffer the same misappropriation issues as gas taxes.