Ask Unkie Trunkie!
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From: Bay Area
UnkieT,
Nicole. She works her ass off. In retail. So you know she doesn't get paid more than a shit shoveler at the zoo (actually they probably get paid more). But she does enjoy what she does (kinda? at least enough to stay). Well she's the main assistant manager at her store, as there's two, she's the main one. Ever since she got that position, she works WAY to much... off the clock. I'm talking regularly (a few times a month.. usually at least once a week) working 16 hour+ days. And only getting paid for 8. She knows, I know, it's common sense that if her DM were to find out about that--she'd be fired. But she says it HAS to be done in order to keep the store in the condition it's in (which still sucks according to her). So she and her manager are striving to make it better.
This PISSES me off. First of all, she used to bitch and complain about how stressed she was, how tired she was, and how over worked she was. That was HER OWN fault for doing so. So I told her not to complain to me, because she's doing it herself. I understand if you need to work a long day every once in a while.. but not once a week.
Now it's the holliday season, and we all know how that is in retail. But I told her if she can't be more sensitive to the fact that she KNOWS it's breaking us up and try and change, I'll just leave now. Us both working late and long hours, like in almost any relationship, causes problems. She told me last night she understands it causes us problems, but says she "has no choice." Which I find BS personally.
So.. should I risk our relationship over this, or am I being irrational? She says I "look at it differently than her." because she doesn't look at is as if she's knowingly straining (potentially ruining) our relationship, but she accepts the reality that her working late is a cause. To me, that says "I am willingly ruining our relationship for work." What to do?!
Nicole. She works her ass off. In retail. So you know she doesn't get paid more than a shit shoveler at the zoo (actually they probably get paid more). But she does enjoy what she does (kinda? at least enough to stay). Well she's the main assistant manager at her store, as there's two, she's the main one. Ever since she got that position, she works WAY to much... off the clock. I'm talking regularly (a few times a month.. usually at least once a week) working 16 hour+ days. And only getting paid for 8. She knows, I know, it's common sense that if her DM were to find out about that--she'd be fired. But she says it HAS to be done in order to keep the store in the condition it's in (which still sucks according to her). So she and her manager are striving to make it better.
This PISSES me off. First of all, she used to bitch and complain about how stressed she was, how tired she was, and how over worked she was. That was HER OWN fault for doing so. So I told her not to complain to me, because she's doing it herself. I understand if you need to work a long day every once in a while.. but not once a week.
Now it's the holliday season, and we all know how that is in retail. But I told her if she can't be more sensitive to the fact that she KNOWS it's breaking us up and try and change, I'll just leave now. Us both working late and long hours, like in almost any relationship, causes problems. She told me last night she understands it causes us problems, but says she "has no choice." Which I find BS personally.
So.. should I risk our relationship over this, or am I being irrational? She says I "look at it differently than her." because she doesn't look at is as if she's knowingly straining (potentially ruining) our relationship, but she accepts the reality that her working late is a cause. To me, that says "I am willingly ruining our relationship for work." What to do?!
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by espelirS2K,Dec 11 2009, 09:22 AM
So.. should I risk our relationship over this, or am I being irrational? She says I "look at it differently than her." because she doesn't look at is as if she's knowingly straining (potentially ruining) our relationship, but she accepts the reality that her working late is a cause. To me, that says "I am willingly ruining our relationship for work." What to do?!
What's really going on is that you both don't get to see each other as often as you'd like.
You have two overarching choices: 1.) work the problem. 2.) leave.
Both of you are busy, working adults, but are your expectations equally mature? I tend to think not. Make time. Agree to see each other at REAL given times. PLAN. Get out your calendars. The ability to manage your time to some minimum is one of those adult things that suck, but you have to do it.
If you let emotions get the best of you, and not work the problem, you're exacerbating the very behaviors (from Nicole) that's driving you nuts.
No, it's not sexy, but you're both adults.
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by vtecmom,Dec 11 2009, 11:20 AM
U serious Clark?
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From: SoCal
Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Dec 11 2009, 11:22 AM
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by bahula03,Dec 11 2009, 02:17 PM
Should I buy Jerry's supercharger for a reasonable price?