January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....Helllooo!!!...the bottles wouldn't fit in the typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition....learned later, the other swimmers cheated and used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my S2000 in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C"....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's...they're so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for four and a half days....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!