and mind you i asked his bro if tim was still talking to his ex and his brother said no i dont think so...i mean of corse he aint gonna give his brother away but he did when he said that he wasnt with him when they shouldve beentogether all day at a family thing.....then he asked for directions to the town that she lives in i was like wtf..

 

ah.... the famous lines....
the response you'll get from me if someone says that is, "Ok..what happened..". or, "Ok, who is he..."
keep the cheese-fest off my table...just my $.02

 

Ygirl, I was wondering who that was in your Avatar. I think I know now.

 

well, there are unresolved things in your relationship and if you want to try to get them resolved is to tell him how YOU feel about what's going on.

expressions like "I'm uncomfortable with what's going on"

"I feel..."

don't say things like "why did you go there?" "i thought you didn't talk to you her anymore"

just say things that express how you feel.

 

um.... i know that this might not be the best explanation on things, but have you spoken to an ex before about a current relationship?
i'm not saying this is a practice that i necessarily subscribe to, but i did have an ex once call me and talk to me about our relationship. actually, she came over and we talked all night. nothing happened (a hug good night was it), but we talked about what made the relationship work, what parts were difficult, how we did/didn't work out our differences, etc...
the next day she and her bf worked out there differences and moved on..
i haven't spoken to her since... we dated 4 years ago for 4 1/2 years.... she's now married to the guy that she seeked advice on.
not that this necessarily is your case, but if you truely believe that this person is special, then maybe you should have all the evidence lined up before pulling the trigger. if not to salvage the relationship, at least so you have peace of mind knowing that you knew what happened.

 

damn...another long post...
i promise, i'll keep them shorter...i ramble too much about nothing.

 

i just dont get why he has lies to me time after time about her, there is no reason too. he moved out of her house then changed his cell number so she would leave him alone then he calls her and doesnt block his number "talks with her all night" then he said that the talk was so that things were 100% finished, this was in october mind you then the emails i found from nov 1-2 then this so i have no clue..what he says and does contradict things....

 

i have been so incrediably strong though this whole thing, and everyone is like be strong, i dont know how much more i can take, its taking everything out of me right now for me to be as ok as i am.....i dont know what to do...this bites.

 

I'm sorry Jen. We already know he's confused as hell - let him have time, let him know how pissed off you are that he keeps lying and that it's making you upset and confused. You may have to rethink if the bad things he does outweighs the good or vice versa. Maybe you should take time out and rethink the relationship, too. It sounds like you are offering everything and he's not taking it. That's the worst feeling in the world - believe me, I know.

 

in a perfect world, a relationship should be 50-50, but that's usually not how a relationship works.
reality is, it comes down to how much you want it to work.
like i said before, i really think you need to step back, find out what YOU want from this relationship and make a decision from that point.
being incredibly strong is good, but no one can be strong forever. good luck jen.