Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.

The first guy says his favorite position is the "rodeo."

The other guy asks what the position is and how to do it.

The first guy says: "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position, too...' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."

"...an alternative is to shout out her best friends name. If her best friend is male you'll do well to manage 4 seconds."

* * * *

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.

When they ran into each other later the first old lady said: "My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"

The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"

And the first old lady blurted out, "And cold, too!"

* * * *

A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency" appointment. The receptionist said to come right in.

She rushed to the office and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came into the exam room and asked about her problem. She was very shy about her emergency problem and asked the gynecologist to please examine her.

So the doctor started to examine her. He held up his head after completing his examination.

"I'm sorry, Miss," he said, "but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy, delicate and expensive surgical procedure."

"I'm not sure I can afford it," sighed the young woman, "but while I am here, do you think you could replace the batteries?"