From the "Kids Say the Darndest Things!" Dept.

The Sea

A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids
were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers
got together to compare the results and put together some of the
comments that were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them.
The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown, like
my brother did last summer. (David age 7)

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 6)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How
do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 7)

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 8)

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy
small. (Kevin age 6)

When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in
the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend.
It was fun. (Lauren age 7)

A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen
inside. (Emma age 8)

When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of
sailors. (Valerie age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go
down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Julie age 7)

 

"Buggers are not for eating thats what they make Hambuggers for" (3 years old)

 

 

Cute! Very cute!