Whoa. I'm glad to see this back. Not to criticize but sometimes Uncle Trunkie's answers suck.

And yes, I know you gets whats you pays for.

It's nice to have an alternative point of view.

 

it's no question, his thread can go suck eggs.

but it was nice of him to fill in while this thread sank....

 

W3rd.

 

this thread always stanks, but his thread was choking to death on it's own jizz.

 

Waste not, want not, so swallow it all biatch.

 

 

speaking of which, apparently there was a fisherman, lost at sea for something like seventeen days, near the arctic. he had to row his boat back home, and obviously, he started freezing... his hand stopped working, were rubbed raw down to the bone from the oars (literally to the bones) and then his hands turned black and froze solid. he talks about listening to his bones rattling against the wood of the oars while rowing forever....

and he had to use those hands to masturbate (with his frozen hand bones) so that he could eat his own spooge (off his frozen hand bones) to stay alive, until even that stopped working.

true story as far as I know.

 

So, there was another guy lost at sea. He had been sportfishing near the Farallons and ran out of gas. Radio was spotty. . . anyway, as it came to pass he didn't catch shit, so he wound up using some of his chum to bait seagulls.

Another week passes or so, and the Coast Guard finally finds him. They said, "Hey, we're glad you're okay, and here's the charges for killing a protected seabird. . . don't worry, we got the DA to waive it, but we have to note it." The guy was slightly perplexed, but realized that hey, it's the government. . .

So, they're towing the boat back, and the Coast Guard guy with him asks, "Hey, I know this is a little weird, but what did seagull taste like?"

He replied, "Somewhere between Bald Eagle and Spotted Owl."