My Christmas story.....

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12-26-2004, 08:38 PM

JeffsS2k

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Location: OKC/Savannah/Cleveland

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My Christmas story.....

You're gonna love this...........First I left Oklahoma City....barely making my flight because the line for security was about a mile long, get to Dallas, run my ass off trying to make my flight, they close the door right behind me, and we're off to St. Louis for my second layover. In St. Louis, my flight gets delayed 3 times before they finally cancel it. They told me that there will be no more flights into Cleveland today, and quite possibly even tomorrow (which was x-mas eve). So I decide to take a flight to Milwaukee because they told me there is an early morning flight to Cleveland that I could get on. So that night I get to Milwaukee, and stay at some roach motel. The next morning, I get to the airport, and the flight is delayed several more times, finally about 2:30 they cancel it....once again, no more flights to Cleveland......so I inquire about flights to Columbus, Pittsburgh and Detroit. There was a late flight to Detroit that I could get on, but when I called around for a rental car, there wasn't anything available, EVERYONE was sold out. So I ask about my chances getting back to Oklahoma City, answer "Today, not good, but we can get you home tomorrow". So I book a morning flight to Oklahoma via Dallas. Luckly, being the nice sweet gentleman that i am, Continental agreed to pay for a hotel room that night. So I call the hotel for a shuttle bus to pick me up, and after standing out in the 4* cold for 25 minutes and 3 phone calls, the shuttle finally shows up. So that night I had a few beers with the crew that was supposed to by my pilots for the earlier flight to Cleveland that got cancelled.....ended up that the First Officer was originally from Cleveland, and we knew some of the same people. Later on that evening, I decided to make the best of my Christmas Eve and go out for some drinks. I was told by a friend of mine that used to be from Milwaukee, that the best place to go was "The Landmark", an old tavern which happens to be the oldest taver in all of Wisconsin, established sometime around 1860. So I find the bar stool that I would turn out to spend the rest of the night sitting on, with the exception of the occasional bathroom break. My new friend, we shall call him Bob, who was in the printing buisness had some great conversations regarding both professional and college football......in which I have no real knowledege, or care about. So most of my side of the story consisted of the occasional nod, laugh and the "You are absolutely right". Somehow I made that last 8 beers, 2 shots, a fancy coffee (I don't even like coffee!), an order of cheese nacho's and some chicken and ham (you know how much I hate ham!) pizza, and 7 hours. So at 2:30, I left The Landmark with my own 3 Dachshund's printed (That was their in-house brew) beer glass, courtesy of the bartender. I call for the hotel shuttle to come pick me up as I stumble out into the -4* cold. So I crawl up to my room, into the cold shower and into bed where I passed out for the evening. At 9:20am, my cell phone goes off, it's Dad.....wondering how everything is coming along. Well, since my flight was scheduled to leave at 9:30, things weren't looking that great. The hotel never game me my wake-up call that I had ordered the night before. With the way things were delayed the last few days, I was going to rush to the airport, and see if I could still make my flight. Not even being able to stand up straight, knocking over chairs and stubbing my toes several times, and with a headache comparable to playing in the Super Bowl without a helmet, I pack all of my stuff up and run to the lobby for the shuttle bus. So I arrive at the American Airlines ticket counter at 9:35 (yes, 15 minutes after dad woke me up), and of course, the one flight that left on-time, was the one I just missed. So the very intelligent ticket agent has a great idea, their Milwaukee to Chicago O'Hare flight just got cancelled, and they hired a limo to drive the 30 passengers to Chicago, where I could then sit there all morning to catch a 2:30 flight to Oklahoma City. So the limo shows up, nice black stretch, one that you would see on prom night in Beverly Hills......one problem, there is still 30 of us plus all our bags! So they call in two more limo's so that makes 10 people + bags per limo, still tight, but doable. So finally the other two limo's pull up.....I guess American finally figured it out, because 2 Cadillac Escalade limo's, each so big, they had 6 wheels each pulled up. So we load up and ship out to Chicago. So there we are, my head feels like it's going to explode, and one of the other passengers find the mini-bar, and insists on waking me up to see if I would like a shot of Jack with him......so I tapped his wife on the shoulder, and asked her if she had any Tylenol (a gun maybe???). So I get some Tylenol from her, and this dude finally gets the hint that I have more alcohol than blood in my sytem right now. So after passing out again, I'm woken up when we arrive at O'Hare. So I fall out of the limo, grab my bags, and head on over to the security checkpoint. So there I am, hung over, stinky, hoarse voice, and pissed off....and TSA wants to get intimate with me. So they pull me aside, to do the touchy-feely search, and the TSA agent must have put two and two together, and didn't even have me remove my shoes......and sends me on my way. So I check out the video monitor to see what gate I'm at. And, beyond all odds, something finally GOOD happens! The earlier flight to Oklahoma City was delayed 30 minutes, so I run to the gate, and I was able to get on that flight without having to wait 4 more hours till the later flight. So I get on the flight....my assigned seat being occupied of course, so the flight attendant directs me to a free seat...a window, which is good (mades a nice place to lean my aching head on to get some sleep) but right next to bubba, who insists that he spreads his legs so wide, that it puts Hustler models to shame. But, I'm on my way home......finally, and that's all that matters.

So to that......I say, Merry Christmas!