And if she gets mugged you'll kick her attacker in the head?!

I will pass on the coat advice...as well as the road condition report. Thanks!

 

God! I can see your mom flinching every time I turn around or make a sudden movement.

But yes...if someone tries to take her purse, she knows who to call

 

Just wear the lampshade...it'll distract her from your sudden movements...

 

Hey Brant, are you going over to Seattle to pick up a pair of free sneakers or two?

 

 

I read in the newspaper today that a container full of Nike sneakers fell off a container ship in the Pacific ocean, and the shoes are washing up the beaches along the west coast.

 

Hmmm...I'll have to wander down to the Seattle waterfront and see if I can pick up some new sneaks...

 

Now this is weird. This appeared in the paper (well "RedEye" which is essentially a subset of the Chicago Tribune) today, but I couldn't find it in any news websites. Then I find this (from about two years ago):
http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Nike-Paci...p-Ebbsmeyer.htm

 

DAMN THAT LAMP SHADE!

I'll NEVER live it down...NEVER!

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME HEINEKEN???

 

Ahhh...so I'm not the only one to be forsaken by Heineken, huh?

Every time I think of my story I end up