New hire bean counter during orientation this morning.

NHBC: "So we use Outlook for our email?"

Raymo: "Yes, it's through the Exchange server at the hospital. Your account hasn't been created yet but the application is in the pipeline."

NHBC: "So how do I respond to my emails? The boss says I'm going to be getting a lot of emails."

Raymo: "Do you mean the emails for the account that hasn't been created yet?"

NHBC: (slightly panicked) "Yes!"

Raymo: (reassuring tone) "I wouldn't worry about that. The server automatically blocks those and returns them to the sender until your account is created and you have a valid email address on this domain."

NHBC: "Oh great. Thanks!"

Raymo: "No problem. If you have any questions let me know."

Raymo: (back in his office 10 minutes later)

This ain't my first rodeo.

I'll add to this as they occur or I remember them. If any of you s have one to contribute let's hear it.

 

They fired 2/3 of my IT staff, so the only ones left hate "users" and wouldn't talk about accounts if their lives were at stake.

 

I AM the first-line IT staff. . . for a bunch of computer engineers. It's more like Lucy's therapy booth (from "Peanuts").

That said, my doozie of the week is this:

Trunkie: "I need server<name> sent back to the customer service lab. It is located at <building><lab><row><rack><elevation>. My cost center is <cost center #>."

Movers: "We took servers<entire named series> located at <building><lab><row> over to the customer service lab."

Trunkie: "I asked for only the server <name> be sent to the customer service lab. Please take <remaining names in series> back to <building><lab><row><rack><elevation>. IMMEDIATELY."

Movers: "May we have your cost center for this move?"

Trunkie (now on phone): "Hey <Move Manager>. You guys really botched this one up. Look at ticket <number>."

Move Manager: "Aww crap. Yeah. Hey, can I get your cost center?"

Trunkie:"Yeah, it's <cost center number for Move Manager's boss>"

 

^ Well done!

Email from the Director of the daycare center (wholly owned subsidiary) across town:

I have a paper jam in my printer. Can you come clear it for me?

A printed copy still hangs on my office door. We do have a different director now.

 

Engineer: "You need to go fix <client>, I can't netboot <server> from it."
Trunkie: "Can you boot <different server> from <client>?"
Engineer: "Yeah."

<uncomfortable long pause>

Trunkie: "Well, what have you been doing on <server>?"
Engineer: "Changing the bootstrap loader."
Trunkie: "Right. What happens to <server> if you put the known-good image for the bootstrap loader on there?"
Engineer: "I don't know. . . "
Trunkie: "Right."
Engineer: "So, you think you can fix this today? It's an escalation."

 

11:30PM Friday call from on call nurse:

OCN: "I can't log on to my laptop."

Raymo: (sleepily) "What happens when you try?"

OCN: "The keyboard's all messed up. When I type "U" the number "4" comes out."

Raymo: "Is the NumLock on?"

OCN: "What?"

Raymo: "The NumLock. Is it on?"

OCN: "Oh." (Hysterical laughter)

Raymo: <click>

 

i'm too old for this thread.

 

Have you tried right-clicking to get options?

 

 

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