Your is important to us. Please hold for our next available specialist.

 

 

I was hoping for tales a la BOFH.

 

While I've often been tempted so far I haven't electrocuted anyone or pushed them down an elevator shaft.

As far as you know...

 

I'm in the same boat on a different ocean. I'm not IT, but I'm the tech rep for a piece of military aviation hardware that the <military service> operates. In a recent tasking generated by one of the pilots:

P: ...So I selected XX to get the XX information to display on the HUD and I got a XXX DEGRADED message.

Me: Yes, the XX was removed when the aircraft were outfit with mission systems. When you select XX, the XXX is not programmed to see if that system is installed, it only sees if it is working. When it runs a BIT and gets no response at all it becomes confused, assumes it is experiencing an internal fault and generates it's highest broad-level fault; XXX DEGRADED.

P: I know the XX was removed.

Me: And you still tried to select it?

P: Yes.

Me: Why?

P: So it would display it's info in the HUD.

Me: 'It' being the system that you are aware is nolonger installed on the aircraft???

P: Yes.

Me: So you tried to select and use a system that you know is nolonger installed on the aircraft and don't understand why it didn't work...

P: Yes!.... Oh....

... My bad!

Me: Yes. Yes it is your bad.

 

I'm thinking the user wanted a longer and more explicit error message. . . in his HUD.

 

Yes. I've seen some great write-ups over the years.

My favorite write-up and resolution had to be:

Discrepancy: Pilot was unsuccessful at getting the autopilot to engage in altitude hold mode.

Resolution: Replaced pilot. Altitude hold mode now works correctly.

 

Luser from central patient intake at 4:00 PM: "I've got major computer problems!"
Long pause...
raymo: "Can you describe the major problems?"
LFCPI: "I can't access the payor spreadsheet from <payer>.
raymo: "The one on the server that is currently down for hardware maintenance per the memo that went out on Monday?"
LFCPI: "I got the memo...but why can't I access my file?"
raymo: "Because it's on a share on the server that's currently down for hardware maintenance as scheduled. You were supposed to have either ended access to the server or contacted IT by 3:30 if you needed longer access".
LFCPI: "Oh."
Long pause...
raymo: "Any other major problems?"
LFCPI: "No."
raymo:

 

(Preface: We're shutting down the local lab on the 24th, and Global Engineering Services has a TOTAL black out window the 29th-31st)

Engineer: Hey TP (that's me), I've got this new test bed I'm going to be testing over the shutdown. . . can you not shut it down?
8D: I can do that, but I have to ask why? What services do you need going to the system?
Engineer: Disk, and the test harnesses.
8D: You can't have the test harnesses running: EVERYTHING is getting migrated next week.
Engineer: Oh, well, the tests are in my home directory, so that's okay.
8D: EVERYTHING is getting migrated next week. EVERYTHING will be shut down on the 29th, and back up the 31st.
Engineer: Oh. . . well, I can run the scripts from my laptop at home to the console port then.
8D: You got me there. . . Console access will be up. Networking has already been moved. . . so, you're going to push a Perl script over a 9600 baud serial connection that originates from your DSL or Cable connection. . .
Engineer: yep.
8D: Let me know how that works out for you.