Joke of the day thread
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Joined: Jan 2007
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A man went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go. She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again. When she brought out his hot fudge sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and this was too much for him.
"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!'
"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."
"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.
"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."
"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!'
"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."
"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.
"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,472
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From: Glassboro
Originally Posted by 2poor2mod,Jul 17 2008, 09:31 AM
A man went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go. She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again. When she brought out his hot fudge sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and this was too much for him.
"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!'
"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."
"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.
"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."
"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!'
"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."
"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.
"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,563
Likes: 0
From: Dub C, PA
how NOT to use the drive through ATM... uh oh!
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=31695
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=31695
Registered User
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,695
Likes: 3
From: Phoenixville, PA
Originally Posted by heathas2k,Jul 17 2008, 02:00 PM
how NOT to use the drive through ATM... uh oh!
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=31695
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=31695
dude got CRUSHED!
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,563
Likes: 0
From: Dub C, PA
A little boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,563
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From: Dub C, PA
Little Mary was never good in Sunday School,
so she decided to sleep through class, but 1
day the teacher asked her a question "Mary
who created the universe?" Mary never moved
from her deep sleep, so johnny a little boy
who sits behind her in class took his pen
and poked her with it and Mary jumed up and
yelled "God almighty" and the techer told
her it was correct. A little while later
the teacher asked her another question
"Mary, who is our lord and savior?" again
Mary never answered so Johnny poked her
with his pen again and Mary jumps up and
yells "Sweet Jesus!!" the teacher told her
it was correct so Mary went back to sleep.
The teacher her asked her a 3rd question,
"Mary, what did Eve say to Adam after they
had their 23rd child?" So 1 last time Johnny
pokes Mary with his pen 1 last time, but
this time Mary jumps up and yells
"If you stick that damn thing in me 1 more
time I'm gonna break it in half!!"
Then the teacher faints
so she decided to sleep through class, but 1
day the teacher asked her a question "Mary
who created the universe?" Mary never moved
from her deep sleep, so johnny a little boy
who sits behind her in class took his pen
and poked her with it and Mary jumed up and
yelled "God almighty" and the techer told
her it was correct. A little while later
the teacher asked her another question
"Mary, who is our lord and savior?" again
Mary never answered so Johnny poked her
with his pen again and Mary jumps up and
yells "Sweet Jesus!!" the teacher told her
it was correct so Mary went back to sleep.
The teacher her asked her a 3rd question,
"Mary, what did Eve say to Adam after they
had their 23rd child?" So 1 last time Johnny
pokes Mary with his pen 1 last time, but
this time Mary jumps up and yells
"If you stick that damn thing in me 1 more
time I'm gonna break it in half!!"
Then the teacher faints
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,986
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Originally Posted by heathas2k,Jul 18 2008, 02:49 PM
A little boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"
